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What is your opinion about the banning of giving work instructions via Kakao Talk or other means of

작성자: 황*하
2022-09-19 1234

회원님의 영작문

Bullying at work is one of the most serious social problem we have to solve. There is a unique harassment at work in Korea. For example, juniors can't go to home until their senior finish his/her work although, there is nothing to do. We believe it as a way to respect to seniors. Working for a long time means that we put the best efforts at work and we are entitiled to get salary. In addition, employees are forced to participate dinner party with some alchool called "hoisik". This is weird culture in my country. Even though, most people hate attending business dinner with high position people, It is almost impossible to refuse it because it is a part of work so, seniors tend to evaluate their staffs. We are sick and tired to have a time with our colleuges. If we receive a message related with work from seniors, it will create another conflicts between workers. We thought that group chatting is really a effective communication tool but it bothers people a lot of time due to floode

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Bullying at work is one of the most serious social problem we have to solve. 
>> CORRECT! 
There is a unique harassment at work in Korea. 
>> CORRECT! 
For example, juniors can't go to home until their senior finish his/her work although, there is nothing to do. 
>> For example, juniors can't go home until their seniors finish his/her work although, there is nothing to do.
We believe it as a way to respect to seniors. 
>> We believe it as a way to respect the seniors. 
Working for a long time means that we put the best efforts at work and we are entitiled to get salary.
>> Working for a long time means that we put the best efforts at work and we are entitled to get salary.
In addition, employees are forced to participate dinner party with some alchool called "hoisik". 
>> In addition, employees are forced to participate dinner party with some alcohol called "hoisik". 
This is weird culture in my country. 
>> This is a weird culture in my country. 
Even though, most people hate attending business dinner with high position people, It is almost impossible to refuse it because it is a part of work so, seniors tend to evaluate their staffs. 
>> CORRECT! 
We are sick and tired to have a time with our colleuges. 
>> We are sick and tired to have a time with our colleagues. 
If we receive a message related with work from seniors, it will create another conflicts between workers. 
>> If we receive a message related with work from seniors, it will create another conflict between workers. 
OR >> If we receive a message related with work from seniors, it will create conflicts between workers. 
We thought that group chatting is really a effective communication tool but it bothers people a lot of time due to floode
>> We thought that group chatting is really an effective communication tool but it bothers people a lot of time due to flooded messages, and it's difficult to read back previous messages.
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