¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/16 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-18 1119

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
I think happiness is not a big deal.
I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Stella!

Apologies for the late evaluation as we had an unexpected power outage today. Nonetheless, I can see how positive your life's outlook is by trying to find delight in every little thing you do in mundane activities. I guess you are can be one of the happiest person for these reasons. It is so difficult to find someone like you who can be contented with tiny details of life. You are blessed.

Here below are my suggestions. Some of them are simple subject-verb agreement, insertion of words such as missing ones and determiners, among others. Analyze how they are different from your original sentences. Overall, excellent exposition, carry on!

See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
>> Everybody finds something which makes them happy.

I think happiness is not a big deal.
>> Correct!

I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
>> I try to find happiness from things surrounding me.

I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
>> Correct!

I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
>> Correct!

When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
>> When I go to a fancy restaurant and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.

Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
>> Also, I'm so proud that patients who I treated show a good progress.

Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
>> Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about the uncertain future.

It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
>> Correct!
Or: It often makes me stressed to deal with other people who have different characteristics with me.

However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
>> However, I think positively as possible and look for a little (happiness/joy).

It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123474 Would people be in a better financial situation without credit... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2059
123473 Homework. ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2
123472 subway system in my country ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2162
123471 How do you help your grandmother? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 0
123470 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1940
123469 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1566
123468 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1650
123467 Making sentences ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1757
123466 If you are going to make an art masterpiece what would it be?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1218
123465 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 3
123464 How long should a vacation be? How long does it take you to... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1928
123463 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1691
123462 What topic in English are you interested in? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 2526
123461 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1678
123460 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 0
123459 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-11-08 1525
123458 I had learned kick-boxing for 3~4 months in high school. We had... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 0
123457 customs ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 2251
123456 new phone ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 2
123455 Have you ever been in an emergency situation? How did you deal... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1552

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04