¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/16 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-18 1400

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
I think happiness is not a big deal.
I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Stella!

Apologies for the late evaluation as we had an unexpected power outage today. Nonetheless, I can see how positive your life's outlook is by trying to find delight in every little thing you do in mundane activities. I guess you are can be one of the happiest person for these reasons. It is so difficult to find someone like you who can be contented with tiny details of life. You are blessed.

Here below are my suggestions. Some of them are simple subject-verb agreement, insertion of words such as missing ones and determiners, among others. Analyze how they are different from your original sentences. Overall, excellent exposition, carry on!

See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
>> Everybody finds something which makes them happy.

I think happiness is not a big deal.
>> Correct!

I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
>> I try to find happiness from things surrounding me.

I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
>> Correct!

I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
>> Correct!

When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
>> When I go to a fancy restaurant and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.

Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
>> Also, I'm so proud that patients who I treated show a good progress.

Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
>> Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about the uncertain future.

It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
>> Correct!
Or: It often makes me stressed to deal with other people who have different characteristics with me.

However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
>> However, I think positively as possible and look for a little (happiness/joy).

It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118884 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 105
118883 [Homework] What kind of improvement would you like to see in... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 104
118882 My best vacation ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 8
118881 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 204
118880 Do you get along well with your family? How? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 231
118879 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 2
118878 Maybe ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 4
118877 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 2
118876 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 68
118875 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 78
118874 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 58
118873 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 87
118872 Banning Serving Fast Food To Students ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 112
118871 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 78
118870 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 1
118869 Which State in America do you really like to live in, and why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 1
118868 If you can have a part-time job, what do you like it to be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 2
118867 my busiest day of week ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 112
118866 Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 131
118865 What is your all-time favorite movie? Why? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-10 131

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04