¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/16 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-18 1397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
I think happiness is not a big deal.
I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Stella!

Apologies for the late evaluation as we had an unexpected power outage today. Nonetheless, I can see how positive your life's outlook is by trying to find delight in every little thing you do in mundane activities. I guess you are can be one of the happiest person for these reasons. It is so difficult to find someone like you who can be contented with tiny details of life. You are blessed.

Here below are my suggestions. Some of them are simple subject-verb agreement, insertion of words such as missing ones and determiners, among others. Analyze how they are different from your original sentences. Overall, excellent exposition, carry on!

See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
>> Everybody finds something which makes them happy.

I think happiness is not a big deal.
>> Correct!

I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
>> I try to find happiness from things surrounding me.

I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
>> Correct!

I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
>> Correct!

When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
>> When I go to a fancy restaurant and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.

Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
>> Also, I'm so proud that patients who I treated show a good progress.

Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
>> Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about the uncertain future.

It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
>> Correct!
Or: It often makes me stressed to deal with other people who have different characteristics with me.

However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
>> However, I think positively as possible and look for a little (happiness/joy).

It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118964 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118963 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 130
118962 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118961 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118960 Why do people sometimes think that doing homework is boring? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118959 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118958 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118957 How often do you travel? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 112
118956 Strange food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 90
118955 Keeping myself updated. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118954 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 112
118953 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 94
118952 [Homework] Please tell me about your favorite restaurant. ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118951 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 75
118950 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 77
118949 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 80
118948 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 78
118947 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 72
118946 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 66
118945 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04