¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/16 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-18 1343

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
I think happiness is not a big deal.
I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Stella!

Apologies for the late evaluation as we had an unexpected power outage today. Nonetheless, I can see how positive your life's outlook is by trying to find delight in every little thing you do in mundane activities. I guess you are can be one of the happiest person for these reasons. It is so difficult to find someone like you who can be contented with tiny details of life. You are blessed.

Here below are my suggestions. Some of them are simple subject-verb agreement, insertion of words such as missing ones and determiners, among others. Analyze how they are different from your original sentences. Overall, excellent exposition, carry on!

See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
>> Everybody finds something which makes them happy.

I think happiness is not a big deal.
>> Correct!

I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
>> I try to find happiness from things surrounding me.

I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
>> Correct!

I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
>> Correct!

When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
>> When I go to a fancy restaurant and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.

Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
>> Also, I'm so proud that patients who I treated show a good progress.

Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
>> Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about the uncertain future.

It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
>> Correct!
Or: It often makes me stressed to deal with other people who have different characteristics with me.

However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
>> However, I think positively as possible and look for a little (happiness/joy).

It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119762 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 109
119761 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119760 Do you ever try to save electricity at home. Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 188
119759 Dangerous Experience ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 108
119758 The happiest memory of my school says. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 164
119757 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119756 make a lot of money or enjoy your job? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 222
119755 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119754 What do you have on your bucket list? What are the benefits of... ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 213
119753 the capsized canoe ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 271
119752 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 239
119751 What is your most dangerous experience in life? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 508
119750 What three things do you do to loosen up? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119749 How often do you go shopping for food? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 126
119748 What animal best represents you? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 1
119747 What are your top appointments nowadays? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119746 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 106
119745 6/9 HOMEWORK ( •̀ ¥ø •́ )y ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 339
119744 I\'d rather swim in a pool ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 453
119743 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04