¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/16 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-18 1215

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
I think happiness is not a big deal.
I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Stella!

Apologies for the late evaluation as we had an unexpected power outage today. Nonetheless, I can see how positive your life's outlook is by trying to find delight in every little thing you do in mundane activities. I guess you are can be one of the happiest person for these reasons. It is so difficult to find someone like you who can be contented with tiny details of life. You are blessed.

Here below are my suggestions. Some of them are simple subject-verb agreement, insertion of words such as missing ones and determiners, among others. Analyze how they are different from your original sentences. Overall, excellent exposition, carry on!

See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

Everybody find something which makes them happy.
>> Everybody finds something which makes them happy.

I think happiness is not a big deal.
>> Correct!

I try to find happiness from surrounding me.
>> I try to find happiness from things surrounding me.

I like to spend my time with my family and friends.
>> Correct!

I feel happy when I sweat after doing exercise.
>> Correct!

When I go to fancy restaurent and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.
>> When I go to a fancy restaurant and eat delcious food with a good view, I feel satistfied.

Also, I'm so proud that patients who was treated by me show a good progress.
>> Also, I'm so proud that patients who I treated show a good progress.

Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about uncertain future.
>> Sometimes, I am very tired about my work and worry about the uncertain future.

It often makes me stressful to deal with other people who have different charecteristic with me.
>> Correct!
Or: It often makes me stressed to deal with other people who have different characteristics with me.

However, I think positive as possible and look for a small happiness.
>> However, I think positively as possible and look for a little (happiness/joy).

It's my way to enrich my life and stay calm when I encounter any situation.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120681 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 205
120680 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120679 Homework for 12.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120678 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 214
120677 . ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120676 What is the name of the disease you fear most? Why? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 4
120675 What I\'m afraid about ±è*¿± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 784
120674 If you could be invisible for a couple of hours, what would you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 277
120673 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 2
120672 What do you do to look after your skin? Do you like the color of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 673
120671 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 307
120670 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 323
120669 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 217
120668 Do you think robots or AI will replace human teachers in the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 404
120667 s it better for kids to have siblings? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 229
120666 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 314
120665 Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes? And why? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 695
120664 Previous class review. (Top Gun etc.) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 2
120663 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 0
120662 Smokers Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04