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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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9/14 homework

작성자: 윤*현
2022-09-15 1072

회원님의 영작문

I try not to be annoyed by somethings and think comfortably, because being angry is very energy-consuming.
However, sometime it's not easy to maintain inner peace.
There is so many people who don't keep the traffic rules, and whenever I drive, I feel angry about them.
Recently, I could see lots of electrical kickboard on the road, and it's a big problem to appear anywhere suddenly.
It scared and annoyed me.
When I don't have enough time and should treat something quickly and the process is not going well, I often feel irritated.
While I concentrate on something that is very important if someone give me a distressed condition, I would negatively react with him/her.
As I describe above, there are several situations that I feel annoyed about.
Whenever I encounter these situations, I used to breathe deeply, think once more and calmly act for them.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Stella!

Maintaining inner peace is the secret to a happy and calm life. Sometimes however, we cannot do away from overwhelming situations such as the things you enumerated below. In these cases, naturally, we may act or react in a distressed manner. However, if we train ourselves to act with poise and grace, this separates the kind of lady we are to be more sophisticated ones from the others. So, you are on the right track.

I admire your level of enumerating examples to discuss here on your homework answer. You are detail oriented, thus, you can talk about many ways a person can be annoyed via so many examples. As usual, take note of my suggestions and apply them on your next writing. Excellent job!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

I try not to be annoyed by somethings and think comfortably, because being angry is very energy-consuming.
>> Correct!

However, sometime it's not easy to maintain inner peace.
>> However, sometimes it's not easy to maintain inner peace.

There is so many people who don't keep the traffic rules, and whenever I drive, I feel angry about them.
>> There are so many people who don't keep the traffic rules, and whenever I drive, I feel angry about them.

Recently, I could see lots of electrical kickboard on the road, and it's a big problem to appear anywhere suddenly.
>> Correct!

It scared and annoyed me.
>> Correct!
Or: They scare and annoy me.

When I don't have enough time and should treat something quickly and the process is not going well, I often feel irritated.
>> Correct!

While I concentrate on something that is very important if someone give me a distressed condition, I would negatively react with him/her.
>> While I concentrate on something that is very important if someone gives me a distressed condition, I would negatively react to him/her.

As I describe above, there are several situations that I feel annoyed about.
>> As I described it above, there are several situations that I feel annoyed about.

Whenever I encounter these situations, I used to breathe deeply, think once more and calmly act for them.
>> Whenever I encounter these situations, I breathe deeply, think once more and calmly act upon them.

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