¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What puts you in bad mood? What puts you in a good mood? How do you manage your mood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-14 1013

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep. I need to only long pillow. :) Because I hug that while I'm sleeping. Also, there is a curtain where I need. It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for taking the time to answer your homework today, Elic. I liked your composition today, you've expressed yourself well using complete sentences with complete thoughts. Please review my corrections carefully, and then try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)


I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep.
>> I don't need to have anything else to have a good mood before going to bed.
I need to only long pillow.
>> I only need a long pillow.
Because I hug that while I'm sleeping.
>> Correct. OR Because I snuggle it while I'm sleeping.
Also, there is a curtain where I need.
>> I also need curtains.
It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.
>> It can block the sunshine and helps me have a deep sleep.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122381 Leaders are made. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1058
122380 Do you think cosmetics are good for the skin? Why or why not? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1714
122379 Do names shape our personality? ¾È*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1479
122378 9/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2217
122377 Do you think holidays are important? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1304
122376 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1912
122375 Q.Would you prefer to stay over at a friend\'s house or have a... ±è*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 0
122374 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1205
122373 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1517
122372 hi Gemma ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 6
122371 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122370 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2091
122369 Is technology a good or a bad thing? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 892
122368 Why is it important to have a mobile phone? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1306
122367 Use the following words in simple sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1464
122366 I value and admire the.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1037
122365 What is the best festival in South Korea? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 981
122364 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 0
122363 Do you think famous people have the right to have a private life? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1678
122362 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1740

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04