¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What puts you in bad mood? What puts you in a good mood? How do you manage your mood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-14 1166

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep. I need to only long pillow. :) Because I hug that while I'm sleeping. Also, there is a curtain where I need. It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for taking the time to answer your homework today, Elic. I liked your composition today, you've expressed yourself well using complete sentences with complete thoughts. Please review my corrections carefully, and then try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)


I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep.
>> I don't need to have anything else to have a good mood before going to bed.
I need to only long pillow.
>> I only need a long pillow.
Because I hug that while I'm sleeping.
>> Correct. OR Because I snuggle it while I'm sleeping.
Also, there is a curtain where I need.
>> I also need curtains.
It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.
>> It can block the sunshine and helps me have a deep sleep.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120414 If I were a visitor to your house, what customs should I do?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 341
120413 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 407
120412 Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 211
120411 Are dogs really \"a man¡¯s best friend\"? How? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 340
120410 Please review Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120409 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 551
120408 What is one mistake you\'ve done that you don\'t want to happen... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 345
120407 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 530
120406 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 366
120405 Looking back on your life so far, talk about a time when you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 712
120404 cheap long lasting ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 263
120403 How would you describe a perfect weekend? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 81
120402 Traveling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1
120401 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 0
120400 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 5
120399 How do you deal with pressure or stressful situations?,What type... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 3
120398 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 416
120397 MEDICAL school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 199
120396 live alone Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120395 3.homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 431

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04