¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/7 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-08 1773

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Stella!

As I read your homework entry for today, I felt inspired and awed by the amount of work and thought you made to who you are today and what you have become. I admire your career path and I wish if I could live another lifetime, I wanted to be a doctor just like you! Thank you for sharing to me your wonderful story of success.

Well, your composition contains a very well organized time line. In addition, your transition words are so appropriate thus, making the flow of your story clear and easy to comprehend. Finally, I commend your attempt of creating very long sentences and correct ones. Please see my suggestions to even make them better.

You have been very diligent and highly motivated on your essays this week, outstanding job, carry on!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~ 

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
>> I could express my career for the last 5 years as "I became a doctor."

I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
>> I passed the Korean Medical License Exam about 5 years ago and after I finished my studies at the medical school, I became a doctor.

I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
>> I had entered an internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.

I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
>> Correct!

So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
>> So, I applied as an ENT resident and luckily, I trained to become a specialist as an ENT doctor for 4 years.

On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
>> Correct!

I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
>> I transferred to a new workplace and I learned various surgeries for the head and the neck.

When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
>> When I recall the recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.

Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
>> Although the internship and residency courses were so hard and sometimes made me burned out, they gave me meaningful results.

As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
>> As a basis of those experiences, I am planning to invest my time on other fields like exercise and language.

It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124044 Where is the best place to eat in your town? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124043 12/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1069
124042 How do you behave when you or your team loses? Are you a sore... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1068
124041 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1129
124040 What I am most like to change about where I live ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1178
124039 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each of the words: 1. slim 2.... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1
124038 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 796
124037 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1
124036 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1043
124035 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1076
124034 If your friend was doing something dangerous or illegal, what... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1240
124033 Who is your favorite musician, band or group? How important are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 782
124032 Do you like Christmas decorations? How do you feel about the... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1178
124031 The reason that I hate Winter ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1
124030 In your opinion, what could be the reasons why it is so... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1302
124029 Homework (12/07) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 6
124028 What is the best way to stay healthy? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1080
124027 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 0
124026 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 0
124025 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1053

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04