¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/7 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-08 1857

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Stella!

As I read your homework entry for today, I felt inspired and awed by the amount of work and thought you made to who you are today and what you have become. I admire your career path and I wish if I could live another lifetime, I wanted to be a doctor just like you! Thank you for sharing to me your wonderful story of success.

Well, your composition contains a very well organized time line. In addition, your transition words are so appropriate thus, making the flow of your story clear and easy to comprehend. Finally, I commend your attempt of creating very long sentences and correct ones. Please see my suggestions to even make them better.

You have been very diligent and highly motivated on your essays this week, outstanding job, carry on!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~ 

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
>> I could express my career for the last 5 years as "I became a doctor."

I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
>> I passed the Korean Medical License Exam about 5 years ago and after I finished my studies at the medical school, I became a doctor.

I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
>> I had entered an internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.

I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
>> Correct!

So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
>> So, I applied as an ENT resident and luckily, I trained to become a specialist as an ENT doctor for 4 years.

On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
>> Correct!

I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
>> I transferred to a new workplace and I learned various surgeries for the head and the neck.

When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
>> When I recall the recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.

Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
>> Although the internship and residency courses were so hard and sometimes made me burned out, they gave me meaningful results.

As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
>> As a basis of those experiences, I am planning to invest my time on other fields like exercise and language.

It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125162 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 0
125161 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 5
125160 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 694
125159 Lesson 1 : Essay Question ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 775
125158 What are your passions and hobbies? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 746
125157 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 1
125156 1/30 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 9
125155 27.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-30 2
125154 What do you think of the mandatory military service in Korea? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-29 2
125153 In what ways did you obtain real satisfaction when you were on... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-29 871
125152 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-29 846
125151 have women to training and I think that if korea\\\'s population... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-29 955
125150 In your opinion, is it better to have regular trips or avail of... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-29 1
125149 Last year is good. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-29 5
125148 For you, what makes reading English materials difficult? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-28 979
125147 What\'s the most memorable weekend have you had in the past... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-28 1179
125146 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-28 1538
125145 2023-1/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 740
125144 The best movie for a date is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 907
125143 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04