¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/7 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-08 1898

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Stella!

As I read your homework entry for today, I felt inspired and awed by the amount of work and thought you made to who you are today and what you have become. I admire your career path and I wish if I could live another lifetime, I wanted to be a doctor just like you! Thank you for sharing to me your wonderful story of success.

Well, your composition contains a very well organized time line. In addition, your transition words are so appropriate thus, making the flow of your story clear and easy to comprehend. Finally, I commend your attempt of creating very long sentences and correct ones. Please see my suggestions to even make them better.

You have been very diligent and highly motivated on your essays this week, outstanding job, carry on!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~ 

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
>> I could express my career for the last 5 years as "I became a doctor."

I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
>> I passed the Korean Medical License Exam about 5 years ago and after I finished my studies at the medical school, I became a doctor.

I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
>> I had entered an internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.

I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
>> Correct!

So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
>> So, I applied as an ENT resident and luckily, I trained to become a specialist as an ENT doctor for 4 years.

On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
>> Correct!

I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
>> I transferred to a new workplace and I learned various surgeries for the head and the neck.

When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
>> When I recall the recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.

Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
>> Although the internship and residency courses were so hard and sometimes made me burned out, they gave me meaningful results.

As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
>> As a basis of those experiences, I am planning to invest my time on other fields like exercise and language.

It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126026 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126025 Do you think change is important in people\'s life? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126024 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126023 My opinion regarding bullying ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1111
126022 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126021 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1051
126020 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 818
126019 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 702
126018 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 629
126017 Young people these days, do not enjoy family gatherings. What do... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 779
126016 I sometimes make food. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 74
126015 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126014 [Writing Task] What is the difference between studying at the... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126013 How to cook your own fascinating food ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 696
126012 Go back ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 4
126011 Describe your dream dog in one sentence. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126010 Sunday, February 24th, 2022 ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126009 What are the other benefits of learning another language at this... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126008 The major change in my life. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 683
126007 The one thing I want to change ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 1154

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04