¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/7 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-08 1686

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Stella!

As I read your homework entry for today, I felt inspired and awed by the amount of work and thought you made to who you are today and what you have become. I admire your career path and I wish if I could live another lifetime, I wanted to be a doctor just like you! Thank you for sharing to me your wonderful story of success.

Well, your composition contains a very well organized time line. In addition, your transition words are so appropriate thus, making the flow of your story clear and easy to comprehend. Finally, I commend your attempt of creating very long sentences and correct ones. Please see my suggestions to even make them better.

You have been very diligent and highly motivated on your essays this week, outstanding job, carry on!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~ 

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
>> I could express my career for the last 5 years as "I became a doctor."

I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
>> I passed the Korean Medical License Exam about 5 years ago and after I finished my studies at the medical school, I became a doctor.

I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
>> I had entered an internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.

I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
>> Correct!

So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
>> So, I applied as an ENT resident and luckily, I trained to become a specialist as an ENT doctor for 4 years.

On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
>> Correct!

I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
>> I transferred to a new workplace and I learned various surgeries for the head and the neck.

When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
>> When I recall the recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.

Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
>> Although the internship and residency courses were so hard and sometimes made me burned out, they gave me meaningful results.

As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
>> As a basis of those experiences, I am planning to invest my time on other fields like exercise and language.

It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121514 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 872
121513 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 575
121512 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121511 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121510 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121509 life expectancy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 287
121508 Should parents help their children set goals? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121507 It seeme like a family birthday party. ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 658
121506 Describe a natural disaster that you have experienced in your... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121505 How is elementary education system in America different with... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121504 What do you love doing with your relatives? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 833
121503 Make decision Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121502 8/10 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 464
121501 Why is helping others important? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 443
121500 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones? /... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 933
121499 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 544
121498 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 470
121497 When I wished the rain would stop Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 746
121496 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 508
121495 What is the best way to enjoy Chuseok without spending too much? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 546

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04