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I\'m sorry teacher but please correct as soon as posible

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-09-06 1508

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Adults say adolescents are addicted to smartphone.
I think I am one of those people.
I am obsessed with checking my phone waiting for a notification to arrive, even if it doesn't come.
I play mobile games, upload pictures on Instagram, text others on social media.
Mobile phone addiction has been disrupting my daily life and has a negative impact on learning, and relationship.
I should solve this problem for my healthy life.
Here are some ways I can build better digital habits.
First, I will turn off as many push notifications as possible.
Then I won¡¯t be disturbed by a message that latest Instagram photo or Twitter post has been uploaded.
Second, I will put my phone as far away from my bed as possible before going to bed.
Then I can take away the thought that I'm going to watch social media for a little bit before bed.
It¡¯s not easy to build good digital habits, but I¡¯ll do my best until being free from smartphone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Paul!  

Here's the correction. 

Teacher Andrea 


Adults say adolescents are addicted to smartphone.
>> Correct 

I think I am one of those people.
>> I think I am one of them. 

I am obsessed with checking my phone waiting for a notification to arrive, even if it doesn't come.
>> I am obsessed checking my phone, waiting for a notification to arrive even if it doesn't' come. 

I play mobile games, upload pictures on Instagram, text others on social media.
>> I play mobile games, upload pictures on Instagram, and send messages on social media. 

Mobile phone addiction has been disrupting my daily life and has a negative impact on learning, and relationship.
>> Mobile phone addiction has been disrupting my daily life and has a negative impact on learning and relationship.

I should solve this problem for my healthy life.
>> I should solve this problem for me to have a healthy lifestyle. 

Here are some ways I can build better digital habits.
>> Correct 

First, I will turn off as many push notifications as possible.
>> Correct 

Then I won¡¯t be disturbed by a message that latest Instagram photo or Twitter post has been uploaded.
>> Then I won¡¯t be disturbed by a message about the latest Instagram photo or Twitter post that has been uploaded.

Second, I will put my phone as far away from my bed as possible before going to bed.
>> Second, I will put my phone as far as possible before going to bed. 

Then I can take away the thought that I'm going to watch social media for a little bit before bed.
>> Then I can take away the thought of checking social media for a little bit before bed time.

It¡¯s not easy to build good digital habits, but I¡¯ll do my best until being free from smartphone. 
>> Correct 
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