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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-09-05 1574

회원님의 영작문

Hello, Donna.
It's raining, and I feel so gloomy just like the weather.
As you can guess, I lost one of my staff today.
This morning, she told me that she can't work in our clinic anymore.
Maybe there seemed a big wound in her mind.
So, I just let her quit. I couldn't do anything.
Dr.MJ and I concluded that the most problem is the clinic manger's rudeness.
Thus, I ordered her to be kind to all staffs, especially older staffs.
After my words, she seemed to be upset.
So, I think that it's possible for her to quit.
However, she needs a change, if she want to keep her job.
Anyway, today's homework is about bad choices.
I shouldn't have disagreed my brother to be a singer.
He loves singing, and sing well.
When he was young, he wanted to learn singing professionally and sign up the contest, but parents and I said "No".
My brother live well, but sometimes he seems to be unhappy because he work in unwanted company.
I'm so sorry about that.
How about you?
Gloomy Monday.
I need an alcohol.
Bye.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Sometimes the weather is a metaphor on what we feel. They say that, "When it rains, it pours." People come and go and when they decide to leave sometimes it hurts us and we start thinking of what we did wrong. I hope that the exodus of your employees will halt soon to lessen your work-related problems.

Anyway, regrets come after a bad choice this is nartural. Regret cannot come first, otherwise, we will never commit mistake. This is life. We all make mistakes..We have to choose something and wait for the consequenses, good or bad. As I said before, it is never too late to fulfill dreams. If your brother or you want to sing, you can still do it as long as you live and love to do it.

Here on your homework, you used very good adjectives to describe your mood. Moreover, there is a clear transition from one point to another. Your ideas are always clear and on point. Hence, let me check your other homework now since you submitted it so early. Excellent job!

Stay strong.

-T. Donna~
Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

It's raining, and I feel so gloomy just like the weather.
>> Correct!

As you can guess, I lost one of my staff today.
>> Correct!

This morning, she told me that she can't work in our clinic anymore.
>> Correct!

Maybe there seemed a big wound in her mind.
>> Correct!

So, I just let her quit. I couldn't do anything.
>> Correct!

Dr.MJ and I concluded that the most problem is the clinic manger's rudeness.
>> Correct!

Thus, I ordered her to be kind to all staffs, especially older staffs.
>> Correct!
Or: Thus, I ordered her to be kind to all staffs, especially the older ones.

After my words, she seemed to be upset.
>> Correct!

So, I think that it's possible for her to quit.
>> Correct!

However, she needs a change, if she want to keep her job.
>> However, she needs to change if she wants to keep her job.

Anyway, today's homework is about bad choices.
>> Correct!

I shouldn't have disagreed my brother to be a singer.
>> I shouldn't have disagreed with my brother to be a singer.

He loves singing, and sing well.
>> He loves singing, and sings well.

When he was young, he wanted to learn singing professionally and sign up the contest, but parents and I said "No".
>> When he was young, he wanted to learn singing professionally and signed up on a contest, but our parents and I said "No".

My brother live well, but sometimes he seems to be unhappy because he work in unwanted company.
>> My brother lives well, but sometimes he seems to be unhappy because he works in an unwanted company.

I'm so sorry about that.
>> Correct!

How about you?
>> Correct!

Gloomy Monday.
>> Correct!
Or: It's a gloomy day.

I need an alcohol.
Bye.
>> Correct!
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