¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework ◡̈

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2022-09-05 1031

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Title: My Most Unforgettable Childhood Memory

The unforgettable memories of childhood are divided into two types. Good memories or Bad memories.
Actually, Bad memories are memorable more than good memories.
When I was elementary school student, I met a friend who has worst personality.
I and she are close friend. but I had been attacked my mind because of her.
So so some of my childhood is worst unforgetten memory.
I don't know whether she is living well, honestly I don't want her lives are well that though.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Emma! You did great with this topic. You were able to express yourself in complete thoughts. Each sentence you've created are understandable and clear. Please review my corrections, especially the additional words I've included. :)


The unforgettable memories of childhood are divided into two types. Good memories or Bad memories.
>> The unforgettable memories of my childhood are divided into two types, the good memories and bad memories.
Actually, Bad memories are memorable more than good memories.
>> Actually, bad memories are more memorable than the good ones.
When I was elementary school student, I met a friend who has worst personality.
>> When I was an elementary school student, I met a friend who has the worst personality.
I and she are close friend. but I had been attacked my mind because of her.
>> We were close friends, but I had unpleasant thoughts because of her.
So so some of my childhood is worst unforgetten memory.
>> That's why some of my childhood memories are worst and unforgettable.
I don't know whether she is living well, honestly I don't want her lives are well that though.
>> I don't know whether she is living well, honestly I don't want her to live well.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121626 What was the most difficult experience you faced in your life?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 330
121625 How are birthdays celebrated in your country? How would you want... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 626
121624 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 385
121623 What are your concerns about transportation in your country? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 697
121622 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 0
121621 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 601
121620 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 323
121619 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1
121618 Is Chuseok seen as a time of year to reunite with family,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 928
121617 Bad service ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121616 What kind of phone do you have? etc. ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 819
121615 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 473
121614 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 351
121613 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 659
121612 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 751
121611 Which is more comfortable: sleeping alone or sleeping with... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121610 Tell us something interesting about yourself ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 548
121609 Daily essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 5
121608 What is the significance of the holiday today? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 310
121607 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 734

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04