¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°â
2022-09-04 1011

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Getting angry can be a way to relieve stress, however, getting angry can not deal with problems because it only makes the relationship worse and even offends others emotionally. Therefore, if you want to deal with some problems, you need to cool yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Rana!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Getting angry can be a way to relieve stress, however, getting angry can not deal with problems because it only makes the relationship worse and even offends others emotionally. 

>> Getting angry can be a way to relieve stress, however, getting angry can not be a way to deal with problems because it only makes the relationship worse and even offends others emotionally. 

Therefore, if you want to deal with some problems, you need to cool yourself.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123014 What is a good sight to see on Jeju Island? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2
123013 Describe your own room in your house. How does it look like?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2
123012 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 1808
123011 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 1446
123010 Weaknesses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 0
123009 How do you usually feel on your first first day of class? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2072
123008 10/14 HOMEWORK ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2160
123007 10/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1734
123006 spontaneous ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1401
123005 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2
123004 What does¡°life is what happens to you while you are busy making... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1725
123003 What are some traits of teachers? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1846
123002 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1288
123001 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2133
123000 What are you planning on doing this weekend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1786
122999 The award that I got from my school, and academy ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 0
122998 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1512
122997 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1543
122996 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1812
122995 Vacation should be about a week. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2297

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04