¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°â
2022-09-04 1014

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Getting angry can be a way to relieve stress, however, getting angry can not deal with problems because it only makes the relationship worse and even offends others emotionally. Therefore, if you want to deal with some problems, you need to cool yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Rana!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Getting angry can be a way to relieve stress, however, getting angry can not deal with problems because it only makes the relationship worse and even offends others emotionally. 

>> Getting angry can be a way to relieve stress, however, getting angry can not be a way to deal with problems because it only makes the relationship worse and even offends others emotionally. 

Therefore, if you want to deal with some problems, you need to cool yourself.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123074 What is a very special place you have seen before and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0
123073 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2143
123072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0
123071 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1130
123070 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123069 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2
123068 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2032
123067 What is the worst disaster in your opinion? Share your answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2078
123066 What\'s your birthday wish for me? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1900
123065 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2148
123064 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0
123063 What do you think is the worst invention of the mankind?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2193
123062 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2458
123061 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123060 Antique shop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123059 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1344
123058 What are some in-demand occupations in your country? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2208
123057 10.18.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1
123056 selfishness ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1450
123055 10/18 ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 1879

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04