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How do you balance your work and personal life? Do you prefer a slow or fast pace of life?

작성자: 황*하
2022-09-02 2622

회원님의 영작문

I believe that having a hobby is essential to keep my life. We have a job for a happy life but many people just try to make more money by working as much as they can. It must be hurt our body and break a family because there aren't time to spend with their familiy members. I agree that money is important to live but I don't think money should not be a final goal. Our life looks long and eternal but it is shorter than we believe. So, every person has to find what they like, and then find a job related with their intreasts. If it is impossible, they need to do what they the most like after work. It helps relieve their stress and people can gain extra energy. I am not sure what the best balance is between work and life but I know that it should not be excessive. I usually set a short and long term goal and try to achieve it as soon as I can. Although, the speed is not the main factor to achieve a goal, but genetically, I tend to hurry up on every task. It is culture of korea that shoul

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I believe that having a hobby is essential to keep my life. 
>> CORRECT! 
We have a job for a happy life but many people just try to make more money by working as much as they can. 
>> CORRECT! 
It must be hurt our body and break a family because there aren't time to spend with their familiy members. 
>> It must be painful for our body, and it breaks a family relationship because there isn't a lot of time to spend with their family members. 
I agree that money is important to live but I don't think money should not be a final goal. 
>> CORRECT! 
Our life looks long and eternal but it is shorter than we believe. 
>> CORRECT! 
So, every person has to find what they like, and then find a job related with their intreasts.
>> So, every person has to find what they like, and then find a job related with their interests.
If it is impossible, they need to do what they the most like after work. 
>> CORRECT! 
It helps relieve their stress and people can gain extra energy. 
>> CORRECT! 
I am not sure what the best balance is between work and life but I know that it should not be excessive.
>> CORRECT! 
I usually set a short and long term goal and try to achieve it as soon as I can. 
>> CORRECT! 
Although, the speed is not the main factor to achieve a goal, but genetically, I tend to hurry up on every task. 
>> CORRECT! 
It is culture of korea that shoul
>> It is a Korean culture that should be considered and changed.
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