¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework: Compare the time you spend with your family when you were young and now that you¡¯ve grown

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-01 1227

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework:
Compare the time you spend with your family when you were young and now that you¡¯ve grown up. Use at least 3 to 4 short paragraphs.



When I was young, I used to play soccer with my family. while doing it, I thought that my father is the most talented soccer player. But for now, My father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.

Instead of it, After I've become grown-up. we sometimes go to watch movies, chewing popcorn or grilled squid. It is a little bit expensive, but sometimes, we're deserve to be luxury.

If I've learned something from it, No matter what to do with, but the important thing is, We're having a good time together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great sentence construction Jason! I understood what you were pointing out. Your ideas were clear and you were able to express yourself well. Please do remember that when you are starting a new sentence, start it with a capital letter. Please review the corrections here as well. Thank you very much! :)


When I was young, I used to play soccer with my family.
>> Correct.
while doing it, I thought that my father is the most talented soccer player.
>> That time, I thought that my father was the most talented soccer player.
But for now, My father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.
>> But now, my father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.
Instead of it, After I've become grown-up. we sometimes go to watch movies, chewing popcorn or grilled squid.
>> Now that I've grown up instead of playing soccer, we sometimes watch movies and eat popcorn or grilled squid.
It is a little bit expensive, but sometimes, we're deserve to be luxury.
>> It's a little bit expensive but we all deserve to be luxurious sometimes.
If I've learned something from it, No matter what to do with, but the important thing is, We're having a good time together.
>> I've learned that it doesn't matter what I am doing, the important thing is that I have a good time and enjoy it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119324 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119323 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 65
119322 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 1
119321 How about action movie? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 99
119320 Was there a time when you were misunderstood? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 122
119319 Use the expressions in your own sentences: ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 78
119318 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 106
119317 How is your day influenced by the quality of your sleep? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 113
119316 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 141
119315 Why do you think it is that many children don¡¯t like school? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 96
119314 About transportation ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 5
119313 Do you think watching TV is educational? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 115
119312 Are you a demanding person? Please explain in sentences. ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 122
119311 What do you think the deadliest disease in the world is? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2
119310 When I fight my brother. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 81
119309 Homework ¾È*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 87
119308 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 119
119307 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 74
119306 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 66
119305 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 74

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04