¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework: Compare the time you spend with your family when you were young and now that you¡¯ve grown

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-01 1222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework:
Compare the time you spend with your family when you were young and now that you¡¯ve grown up. Use at least 3 to 4 short paragraphs.



When I was young, I used to play soccer with my family. while doing it, I thought that my father is the most talented soccer player. But for now, My father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.

Instead of it, After I've become grown-up. we sometimes go to watch movies, chewing popcorn or grilled squid. It is a little bit expensive, but sometimes, we're deserve to be luxury.

If I've learned something from it, No matter what to do with, but the important thing is, We're having a good time together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great sentence construction Jason! I understood what you were pointing out. Your ideas were clear and you were able to express yourself well. Please do remember that when you are starting a new sentence, start it with a capital letter. Please review the corrections here as well. Thank you very much! :)


When I was young, I used to play soccer with my family.
>> Correct.
while doing it, I thought that my father is the most talented soccer player.
>> That time, I thought that my father was the most talented soccer player.
But for now, My father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.
>> But now, my father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.
Instead of it, After I've become grown-up. we sometimes go to watch movies, chewing popcorn or grilled squid.
>> Now that I've grown up instead of playing soccer, we sometimes watch movies and eat popcorn or grilled squid.
It is a little bit expensive, but sometimes, we're deserve to be luxury.
>> It's a little bit expensive but we all deserve to be luxurious sometimes.
If I've learned something from it, No matter what to do with, but the important thing is, We're having a good time together.
>> I've learned that it doesn't matter what I am doing, the important thing is that I have a good time and enjoy it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119412 What are the important news in your country right now? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 113
119411 [Homework] Q. Describe the kind of coworker you want to work... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 1
119410 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-30 2
119409 Are you proud of your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 4
119408 Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 0
119407 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 73
119406 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 87
119405 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 118
119404 As a parent, how do you handle your children when they are angry? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 0
119403 Which part of English do you want someone to elaborate? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 141
119402 How could you help someone quit his vice? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 97
119401 According to the article, the bigger and better solution to the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 126
119400 What do you think is the most challenging part about raising a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 169
119399 Do you believe that Artificial Intelligence will change the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 103
119398 Training ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119397 Notification ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119396 Healthy life! À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 148
119395 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 1
119394 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2
119393 Hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-29 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04