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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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9/1 homework

작성자: 윤*현
2022-09-01 1228

회원님의 영작문

How is urban life different in other countries that you have been to?

I don't experience many urban lives in other contries, but I find them having different characteristics from each other.
When I went to Hongkong, I felt like I was in the building forest.
There were so many high buildings compared to other cities.
Also, sky in Hongkong was always gray because of yellow dust and smog.
In Melbourne, I couldn't see high buildings.
There are primarily five-story buildings and roads are not crowded by cars.
Interestingly, I observed the tram along the street.
Also, there are very quiet escaping from downtown.
Tokyo and Taiwan is very similar to Seoul.
Many buildings are concentrated in the town.
There are full of cars and people, and trains and buses are very well developed, so people are able to go anywhere in the cities.
Although they show distinct features in other countries, it is common that all the cities are more convenient and active than the rural areas.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Dr. Stella!

I am amazed by your observation of all the cities you have been to. Of course, every country and culture is unique and they operate according to their people's lifestyle and preference. Here on your homework answer, you were able to decribe vividly the four metropolitan cities and their distinct characteristics through the use of appropriate adjectives and the effective use of comparisons with Seoul as your base point. 

With these, I commend you for a very well-written composition! Some grammar details were underscored for your review. Keep writing and see you on the next piece!

Have a wonderful evening!

-T. Donna~

I don't experience many urban lives in other contries, but I find them having different characteristics from each other.
>> Correct!

When I went to Hongkong, I felt like I was in the building forest.
>> Corerct!

There were so many high buildings compared to other cities.
>> Correct! 

Also, sky in Hongkong was always gray because of yellow dust and smog.
>> Also, the sky in Hongkong was always gray because of yellow dust and smog.

In Melbourne, I couldn't see high buildings.
>> Correct!

There are primarily five-story buildings and roads are not crowded by cars.
>> Correct!
Or: There are primarily five-story buildings and roads are not crowded with cars.

Interestingly, I observed the tram along the street.
>> Correct!

Also, there are very quiet escaping from downtown.
>> Also, there are very quiet escapes downtown.

Tokyo and Taiwan is very similar to Seoul.
>> Tokyo and Taiwan are very similar to Seoul.

Many buildings are concentrated in the town.
>> Correct!

There are full of cars and people, and trains and buses are very well developed, so people are able to go anywhere in the cities.
>> There are lots of cars and people, and trains and buses are very well developed so people are able to go anywhere in these cities.

Although they show distinct features in other countries, it is common that all the cities are more convenient and active than the rural areas.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
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