¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

8/31

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-01 1566

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is the best characteristic of the city?

Cities are good for living because of many convenient facilities.
I can go department store easily and get a variety of items.
Also, when I am ill, I find hospitals and pharmacies regardless of where I am.
Museum, theaters and facilities for activities are more accessible, and I could enjoy new movies and exercise.
I like to eat out and I'm interested in finding fancy restaurants.
In cities, especially Seoul, there are so many famous restaurants which rank high between customers.
There are so many transportations to be used like trains, buses and taxes.
People are able to go anywhere in the cities taking transportations.
Sometimes, I'm tired of crowded people, pollutions and busy life in cities, but I love to live in Seoul because of these convenience and entertainments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Stella!

The city equals all the conveniences life could offer. What can we not do in the city? All we need is money and time to experience everything we desire to access.

Your composition is solidly cohesive and compact with information, examples, and it had a great execution. The suggestions I places are some correct forms of words. See the underlined ones below. Being mindful of the correct word form adds more sophistication and accuracy to your composition. By itself, it had a strong introduction, body, and a smooth conclusion. Excellent job!

See you in class soon!

-T. Donna~

Cities are good for living because of many convenient facilities.
>> Correct!

I can go department store easily and get a variety of items.
>> I can go to the department store easily and get a variety of items.

Also, when I am ill, I find hospitals and pharmacies regardless of where I am.
>> Correct!

Museum, theaters and facilities for activities are more accessible, and I could enjoy new movies and exercise.
>> Correct!

I like to eat out and I'm interested in finding fancy restaurants.
>> Correct!

In cities, especially Seoul, there are so many famous restaurants which rank high between customers.
>> In cities, especially Seoul, there are so many famous restaurants which rank high among customers.

There are so many transportations to be used like trains, buses and taxes.
>> There are so many transportations to be used like trains, buses and taxis.

People are able to go anywhere in the cities taking transportations.
>> Correct!

Sometimes, I'm tired of crowded people, pollutions and busy life in cities, but I love to live in Seoul because of these convenience and entertainments.
>> Sometimes, I'm tired of crowded people, pollutions,  and busy life in cities, but I love to live in Seoul because of these conveniences and entertainments.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122559 What would you like to do with your family? õ*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1045
122558 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1992
122557 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2015
122556 Korean language supporters ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1449
122555 09.22.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 0
122554 What month do you like the best? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2
122553 Hello donna! ÇÑ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 0
122552 School ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1292
122551 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1023
122550 9/22... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1568
122549 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1397
122548 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1176
122547 What would your life be like without eggs? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1338
122546 Can the death penalty be effective? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2
122545 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2795
122544 loosen up ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 3
122543 Do you love your grandparents? Why or why not? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1276
122542 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1120
122541 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 973
122540 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04