¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some good points of social media?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Èñ
2022-08-31 1050

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.
But in spite of that, It has many good points. First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. Second, you can use it as a job. If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

-Christina teacher It was really nice to meet you! and about my job, I don't know that word. maybe it's a purchase for customer as a proxy ?(only on online). Anyway have a nice rest of your day :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Erin!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. 

>> Actually, I didn't like social media much before because it bothers me a lot who pressed like or who read my posts, or sometimes it creates misunderstandings. 

For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.

>> For example, if someone is using Instagram and doesn't reply to my message, it could become a misunderstanding.


So I used to not use them for a while.

>>CORRECT!

But in spite of that, It has many good points. 

>> But in spite of that, it has many good points. 

First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. 

>> First, you can connect with so many people because you can add so many friends and see news about them, and it's also easy to text them. 

Second, you can use it as a job. 

>> Second, you can use for your job. 

If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. 

>> If you post something constantly about your job, it could be helpful in notifying you about your things. 

Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. 

>> Third, there are so many entertaining things like short clips or videos. 

Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

>> Lastly, you can follow celebrities like an actor or an actress, or a singer.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122631 Do you think children today are under more pressure? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1438
122630 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1549
122629 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1013
122628 difficult ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1
122627 What is your favorite song? Please tell me its message. ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2
122626 What is secondhand stress? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2
122625 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 3639
122624 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1
122623 What is the worst season in your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1
122622 9/27 homewokr À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1351
122621 Travel Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 0
122620 Once someone said \"When you forgive, you in no way change the... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 3
122619 Is it better to go to popular tourist destinations or lesser... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2
122618 What are some things you should do for a job interview? How... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1470
122617 test ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1215
122616 9/26 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1021
122615 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1607
122614 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 2
122613 How did you choose to buy your car? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 2
122612 Is competition good for people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1658

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04