¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are some good points of social media?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Èñ
2022-08-31 1560

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.
But in spite of that, It has many good points. First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. Second, you can use it as a job. If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

-Christina teacher It was really nice to meet you! and about my job, I don't know that word. maybe it's a purchase for customer as a proxy ?(only on online). Anyway have a nice rest of your day :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Erin!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Actually I didn't like much social media. Cause, It bothers me a lot like 'who pressed like','who read my posting' or sometimes It makes misunderstanding. 

>> Actually, I didn't like social media much before because it bothers me a lot who pressed like or who read my posts, or sometimes it creates misunderstandings. 

For example, if someone is using instagram and doesn't reply msg, It could be a misunderstanding circumstance. So I used to not use them for a while.

>> For example, if someone is using Instagram and doesn't reply to my message, it could become a misunderstanding.


So I used to not use them for a while.

>>CORRECT!

But in spite of that, It has many good points. 

>> But in spite of that, it has many good points. 

First, you can connect with so many ppl than not using it. Because you can add so many friends and get the news about them and easy to text them. 

>> First, you can connect with so many people because you can add so many friends and see news about them, and it's also easy to text them. 

Second, you can use it as a job. 

>> Second, you can use for your job. 

If you post something steadily about your job, It could be helpful to notify your things. 

>> If you post something constantly about your job, it could be helpful in notifying you about your things. 

Third, there are so many entertaining things like shorts. 

>> Third, there are so many entertaining things like short clips or videos. 

Lastly, you can follow celebrity like actor/actress, singer.

>> Lastly, you can follow celebrities like an actor or an actress, or a singer.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117415 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 130
117414 What do you do to avoid catching COVID-19? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 358
117413 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-03-16 397
117412 About computers controlling the house. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 125
117411 Losting My Dream Lense ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 99
117410 Do you think you have enough time to do the things you want to... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 444
117409 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117408 Food makes my family happy. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 150
117407 What weakness in the past that you already overcame? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 152
117406 How do you handle stress? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 388
117405 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 1
117404 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117403 What part of your culture are you most proud of? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0
117402 Answer to \\ ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117401 Was there any part of the BTS concert that you didn\'t like? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 2
117400 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0
117399 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 295
117398 What do you usually do when your daughter is sick or is hurt? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 0
117397 Fill in the blanks using the correct idiom to complete the... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 596
117396 2022.3.15 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-16 543

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04