¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What disease frightens you the most? Why? What do you do to stay healthy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-31 1217

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Whenever I have a symptom which lasts for more than a week, I always worry if It is a cancer. I don't know why it comes up on my brain, I guess that it is the most serious and frightened disease that I know. Although, it's cure rate has been increasing, there are still a lot of people who die due to a cancer. The incidence rate of cancer has been increasing due to the bad diet and the improvement of disgnostic technologies. I am scared if I have a cancer and it is impossible to control pain, I would like to be killed because the pain is horrible that patients can't endure without pain killer. I am not sure if I can manage my health mentally and physically. There are uncountable information to keep our health. We have seen it on TV, news papers and so on. However, it is nealy possible to keep right habits even thought, we know what we have to eat, drink and do. Eating healthy food, doing exercise regulary and avoiding unhealthy drinks like alchool is the way to stay healthy,.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Whenever I have a symptom which lasts for more than a week, I always worry if It is a cancer. 
>> CORRECT! 
I don't know why it comes up on my brain, I guess that it is the most serious and frightened disease that I know. 
>> I don't know why it comes up on my brain, I guess that it is the most serious and frightening disease that I know. 
Although, it's cure rate has been increasing, there are still a lot of people who die due to a cancer. 
>> Although, its cure rate has been increasing, there are still a lot of people who die due to cancer. 
OR >> Although, its treatment rate has been increasing, there are still a lot of people who die due to cancer. 
The incidence rate of cancer has been increasing due to the bad diet and the improvement of disgnostic technologies. 
>> The incidence rate of cancer has been increasing due to  bad diet and the improvement of diagnostic technologies.
I am scared if I have a cancer and it is impossible to control pain, I would like to be killed because the pain is horrible that patients can't endure without pain killer. 
>> I am scared if I have a cancer and it is impossible to control pain, I would like to be killed because the pain is horrible that patients can't endure without any pain killer. 
I am not sure if I can manage my health mentally and physically. 
>> CORRECT! 
There are uncountable information to keep our health. 
>> CORRECT! 
We have seen it on TV, news papers and so on. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, it is nealy possible to keep right habits even thought, we know what we have to eat, drink and do.
>> However, it is nearly possible to keep right habits even thought, we know what we have to eat, drink and do.
 Eating healthy food, doing exercise regulary and avoiding unhealthy drinks like alchool is the way to stay healthy.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120454 Are older people actually wiser? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 505
120453 My favorite day ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1052
120452 My biggest challenge this year ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2232
120451 culture that i want to bring back to South Korea ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 606
120450 What is a food that people think is healthy but really isn¡¯t?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 180
120449 mistake that I don\'t want to make again ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 350
120448 If you can change something about yourself, what would it be and... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 314
120447 What culture in South Korea would you want to bring back? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 308
120446 In your opinion, is abortion safe? Why or why not? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1
120445 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 291
120444 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1
120443 If your company asked you to work on a holiday like Cuuseok or... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1
120442 Do you celebrate the things you do have? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 3
120441 About parenting ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120440 What is your opinion about abortion? Should it continue to be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 300
120439 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 243
120438 The homework about the definitions of the words ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 298
120437 Homework and asking for understanding ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 288
120436 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 375
120435 Traveling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04