¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

diet

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-08-31 1080

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

That is advice for me.

I have concern a healthy diet because of my breast cancer and overweight.

I am usually a lot manage diet and exercise.

But I am failing because I like bread too much and often do overeat.

I try to maintain good eatind habits , fresh and handmade meal at home.

Anyway I have to suppress overweight.

It's my task and homework.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day Ms. Lily
Food is one of the most irresistible things on earth. Why is it that it's so good to eat?  Well, the article tells us that we can eat more unsaturated fat to prevent cancer. but in my case, choosing those kinds of food is more expensive than my regular food. 
Let's discuss this later :)
Aki~

That is advice for me.
>>> CORRECT!

I have concern a healthy diet because of my breast cancer and overweight.
>>>  I have concerned about a healthy diet because of my breast cancer and being overweight.

I am usually a lot manage diet and exercise.
>>> I usually manage my diet and do a lot of exercises.

But I am failing because I like bread too much and often do overeat.
>>> CORRECT!
or >> But I sometimes fail because I love eating bread too much.

I try to maintain good eating habits , fresh and handmade meal at home.
>>>  I try to maintain good eating habits and prepare fresh and handmade meals at home.

Anyway, I have to suppress overweight.
>>>  Anyway, I have to suppress being overweight.

It's my task and homework.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119847 Is it important to have hobbies? Why/why not? À±*±â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 410
119846 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 146
119845 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 208
119844 I think the food in our country is the best. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 354
119843 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 0
119842 What could be a reason why you are late for an appointment?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 242
119841 What is your dream house and where do you want it to be? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 442
119840 [Homework] Q. Would you like to go on a shopping holiday? Why or... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119839 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 104
119838 About losing our four distinct seasons ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 2
119837 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 131
119836 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 155
119835 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119834 Where is it? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 2
119833 The reason why I like the movie sixsense ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 386
119832 What banking services do you like most?/ What do you think of... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119831 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 139
119830 Is it rude to tell the person that they need to improve their... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119829 It men feel more emotional, do you think that the world will be... ÇÑ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 340
119828 ¡°You can choose your friends, but not your family,¡± What can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04