¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

8/30 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-08-30 1731

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is a beautiful rural area in Korea?

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
Especially, I love Udo island.
I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
There are many beautiful beach and hills.
Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
However, there have been many changes in recent years.
Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning once again, Dr. Stella!

In an episode of the Korean drama "Extraordinary Attorney Woo", there was one about Jeju Island and it sure was breathtaking. This place is complete with the sea, mountain, and all the lovely things nature could offer. Unfortunately, industry as well as progress pave their way and nature needs to be compromised as you have reiterated on your homework answer. This place is surely one on my bucket list.

Here on your composition, some of the grammar suggestions I made are more on the simple and basic ones such as placing the correct determiner 'the', the consistency in the tense of your verbs, and a few spelling. There is so much clarity and style too. You have a great skill in writing so keep it up always!

-T. Donna~

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
>> Correct!

Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
>> Correct!

I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
>> I went to Jeju for the first time about 15 years ago for a school trip.

I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
>> I was very impressed about the view of Jeju.
Or:  I was very impressed about its view.

I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
>> I felt it was very special as if I went on a trip abroad.
 
Especially, I love Udo island.
>> Correct!
Or: I love Udo island most especially.

I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
>> I could enter Udo Island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from the port of Jeju.

There are many beautiful beach and hills.
>> There are many beautiful beaches and hills.

Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
>> Correct!

Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
>> Surely, Jeju still has great sceneries.

However, there have been many changes in recent years.
>> Correct!

Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
>> Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damaged the sights.

It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.
>> It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develop being harmonous with the surroundings.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118308 Is there a sport that you would like to try? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 155
118307 Sent e-mail to my colleagues ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 1
118306 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 6
118305 My city doesn\'t have bookstore ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 230
118304 What quote cheers you up? Please tell me about it. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 130
118303 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 2
118302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 102
118301 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 1
118300 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 151
118299 If I could shop for free at one store... ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 150
118298 Advertisement ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 2
118297 What foods do you think are healthy? What foods do you think are... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 148
118296 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 0
118295 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 124
118294 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 0
118293 Can you recall any strange or unexplained events in your life?... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 1
118292 Are there any foods that bring back special memories for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 168
118291 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 0
118290 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? Explain your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 0
118289 What is the best memory you have of your family doing something... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 141

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04