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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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8/30 homework

작성자: 윤*현
2022-08-30 1662

회원님의 영작문

What is a beautiful rural area in Korea?

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
Especially, I love Udo island.
I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
There are many beautiful beach and hills.
Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
However, there have been many changes in recent years.
Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning once again, Dr. Stella!

In an episode of the Korean drama "Extraordinary Attorney Woo", there was one about Jeju Island and it sure was breathtaking. This place is complete with the sea, mountain, and all the lovely things nature could offer. Unfortunately, industry as well as progress pave their way and nature needs to be compromised as you have reiterated on your homework answer. This place is surely one on my bucket list.

Here on your composition, some of the grammar suggestions I made are more on the simple and basic ones such as placing the correct determiner 'the', the consistency in the tense of your verbs, and a few spelling. There is so much clarity and style too. You have a great skill in writing so keep it up always!

-T. Donna~

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
>> Correct!

Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
>> Correct!

I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
>> I went to Jeju for the first time about 15 years ago for a school trip.

I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
>> I was very impressed about the view of Jeju.
Or:  I was very impressed about its view.

I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
>> I felt it was very special as if I went on a trip abroad.
 
Especially, I love Udo island.
>> Correct!
Or: I love Udo island most especially.

I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
>> I could enter Udo Island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from the port of Jeju.

There are many beautiful beach and hills.
>> There are many beautiful beaches and hills.

Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
>> Correct!

Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
>> Surely, Jeju still has great sceneries.

However, there have been many changes in recent years.
>> Correct!

Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
>> Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damaged the sights.

It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.
>> It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develop being harmonous with the surroundings.
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