¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

8/30 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-08-30 1443

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is a beautiful rural area in Korea?

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
Especially, I love Udo island.
I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
There are many beautiful beach and hills.
Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
However, there have been many changes in recent years.
Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning once again, Dr. Stella!

In an episode of the Korean drama "Extraordinary Attorney Woo", there was one about Jeju Island and it sure was breathtaking. This place is complete with the sea, mountain, and all the lovely things nature could offer. Unfortunately, industry as well as progress pave their way and nature needs to be compromised as you have reiterated on your homework answer. This place is surely one on my bucket list.

Here on your composition, some of the grammar suggestions I made are more on the simple and basic ones such as placing the correct determiner 'the', the consistency in the tense of your verbs, and a few spelling. There is so much clarity and style too. You have a great skill in writing so keep it up always!

-T. Donna~

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
>> Correct!

Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
>> Correct!

I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
>> I went to Jeju for the first time about 15 years ago for a school trip.

I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
>> I was very impressed about the view of Jeju.
Or:  I was very impressed about its view.

I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
>> I felt it was very special as if I went on a trip abroad.
 
Especially, I love Udo island.
>> Correct!
Or: I love Udo island most especially.

I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
>> I could enter Udo Island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from the port of Jeju.

There are many beautiful beach and hills.
>> There are many beautiful beaches and hills.

Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
>> Correct!

Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
>> Surely, Jeju still has great sceneries.

However, there have been many changes in recent years.
>> Correct!

Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
>> Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damaged the sights.

It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.
>> It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develop being harmonous with the surroundings.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122238 How can you tell if a person is confident? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1086
122237 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1013
122236 My unforgettable festival experience ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1348
122235 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2104
122234 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 0
122233 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122232 The most confident person you know is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 871
122231 Do you think it\'s okay to free animals that have been in... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1499
122230 Are you influenced by what you see on TV? Or by what you read?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1920
122229 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1243
122228 Are you influenced by what you see on TV? Or by what you read?... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1671
122227 Does your community have outdoor exercise equipment? Is it free... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1739
122226 Imagine you waited for 30 minutes already, but the food you... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 6
122225 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1693
122224 Can people change their personalities? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122223 Regret. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122222 How do you understand this expression: \"Mother knows best\"... ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122221 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122220 Do you wish to study there in Australia? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122219 What sport do you think is the most fun to do? Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1091

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04