¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework ◡̈

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2022-08-30 1759

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Talk about your favorite vacation/trip you had with your family. Where did you go? What did you see there? What did you do there? What did you eat? Did you like it there? How was your overall experience? Use at least 3 to 4 short paragraphs.

As I grow up, our family couldn't go trip gradually. Long before I went to abroad trip, Philippines. this is my first overseas trip with my family! so my favorite vacation.
That times I went to the Boracai. I saw beautiful sight. color of the sea is like emerald :-)
I did snorkeling, too. very exciting! I couldn't forget that trip's relaxation!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Emma! You did great with your composition today. You were able to share complete information about your favorite vacation. I am very pleased with your sentence construction. Thank you very much Emma! :)

As I grow up, our family couldn't go trip gradually.
>> As I was growing up, our family wasn't able to go on trips often.
Long before I went to abroad trip, Philippines.
>> I went to the Philippines before.
this is my first overseas trip with my family! so my favorite vacation.
>> This was my first overseas trip with my family, it's my favorite vacation.
That times I went to the Boracai.
>> We went to Boracay that time.
I saw beautiful sight. color of the sea is like emerald :-)
>>The color of the sea was like an emerald, it was a very beautiful sight.
I did snorkeling, too. very exciting!
>> I went snorkeling too, it was very exciting.
I couldn't forget that trip's relaxation!
>> I will never forget that relaxing trip!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121814 What would life be like without your computer? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1077
121813 If a natural disaster hit your town, what would you do? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1783
121812 Have you ever had the experience of being a leader? What did you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1525
121811 My best friend ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 0
121810 What if a natural disaster hit my town? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1164
121809 What do you think of hunting? Would you eat an animal that you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1338
121808 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1278
121807 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1482
121806 How do I value my friendship. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1857
121805 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1266
121804 Why I think surrounded by good people is good. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1296
121803 How I relieve stress. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 904
121802 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1
121801 Do you mind if ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 3
121800 Are good family members or good friends more important? Why? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1645
121799 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2011
121798 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2
121797 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1
121796 Tell me about your best memory from a holiday. Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 3
121795 all-day shooling ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1913

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04