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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

What are the harmful and beneficial effects of advertising?

작성자: 김*경
2022-08-29 1452

회원님의 영작문

Advertisement benefits the economy, however, it has harmful effects prompted by the excessive desire of advertisers, such as false or deceptive advertisements. Advertisement is noteworthy in the respect of the announcement that lets more people know about products, companies, people, or else. However, an advertisement can be an obstacle against growing the economy or making a better world if its value or fuction is damaged, finally, it ended up a social poison or garbbage. Therefore, we have to differentiate between good advertisements and bad ones, and the government should also monitor advertisement companies more strictly so that consumers can benefit from advertisements.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Steve! ^-^

If necessary, advertising might assist in shifting out-of-date or unfavorable opinions about a company. It can help brands to become more visible, which can assist in drawing in partners who can help grow the business.

A common message in ads is that having more items will make you happier. However, your life is being ruined by this consumerist way of living. 
The environment is being severely damaged by consumerism. These processes degrade ecosystems and deplete our natural resources, in addition to releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

Thank you so much for this composition.^^ See you later in class!

__T. Mayleen :)


Advertisement benefits the economy, however, it has harmful effects prompted by the excessive desire of advertisers, such as false or deceptive advertisements.
>>> Advertising benefits the economy. However, it has harmful effects prompted by the excessive desire of advertisers, such as false or deceptive advertisements.
>>> OR: The economy benefits from advertising. However, it has negative impacts brought on by advertisers' excessive desire, such as fraudulent or misleading advertisements.

Advertisement is noteworthy in the respect of the announcement that lets more people know about products, companies, people, or else.
>>> An advertisement is noteworthy in the respect of the announcement that lets more people know about products, companies, people, or else.
>>> OR: A notable advertisement is one that informs more people about certain goods, services, organizations, or other things.

However, an advertisement can be an obstacle against growing the economy or making a better world if its value or fuction is damaged, finally, it ended up a social poison or garbbage.
>>> However, an advertisement can be an obstacle to growing the economy or making a better world if its value or function is damaged. Finally, it ends up as social poison or garbage.
>>> OR: An advertisement, however, can become a barrier to improving the world or the economy if its value or purpose are compromised. In the end, it becomes trash or social poison.

Therefore, we have to differentiate between good advertisements and bad ones, and the government should also monitor advertisement companies more strictly so that consumers can benefit from advertisements.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: In order for consumers to benefit from commercials, we must be able to distinguish between good and bad advertisements. The government should also strictly regulate the advertising industry.
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