무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you agree that the minimum age for legally punishing offenders/criminals should be lowered to 10

작성자: 황*하
2022-08-26 1074

회원님의 영작문

Although, there are nationwide concerns about juvenile crimes, it doesn't look like easy to lower the minimum age of criminal responsibility. Recent data has showed that crimes committed by criminal minors have been on the rise and underage crimes have grown crueler and more violent because many children know that they are unpurnished if they are under 14 years old, even if they committed murder. It is a controversial issue, one side insist that heavier punishment isn't effective to decrease crime rate. On the other hands, it is already proved in other countries that lowerring the minimum age of punishment can prevent potential crimes. There are a lot of opinions about it, I think that any criminals must be punished by the national law regardless ages and they have to be removed from the society for a certain period because issuing fines or suspended prison terms has little effect on teenage offenders. However, there should be tranning programs or facilities which help criminals be

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Although, there are nationwide concerns about juvenile crimes, it doesn't look like easy to lower the minimum age of criminal responsibility. 
>> CORRECT!
Recent data has showed that crimes committed by criminal minors have been on the rise and underage crimes have grown crueler and more violent because many children know that they are unpurnished if they are under 14 years old, even if they committed murder. 
>> Recent data has showed that crimes committed by minor criminals have been on the rise and underage crimes have grown crueler and more violent because many children know that they are unpunished if they are under 14 years old, even if they committed murder. 
It is a controversial issue, one side insist that heavier punishment isn't effective to decrease crime rate. 
>> It is a controversial issue, one side insists that heavier punishment isn't effective to decrease crime rate. 
On the other hands, it is already proved in other countries that lowerring the minimum age of punishment can prevent potential crimes. 
>> On the other hand, it is already proven in other countries that lowering the minimum age of punishment can prevent potential crimes. 
There are a lot of opinions about it, I think that any criminals must be punished by the national law regardless ages and they have to be removed from the society for a certain period because issuing fines or suspended prison terms has little effect on teenage offenders. 
>> There are a lot of opinions about it, I think that any criminals must be punished by the national law regardless of age, and they have to be isolated from the society for a certain period because issuing fines or suspended prison terms have little effect on teenage offenders. 
However, there should be tranning programs or facilities which help criminals be
>> However, there should be training programs or any facilities which help criminals in coping with certain situations, and be in good state.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
120477 Who is the person that you admire the most? . 백*원 완료 2022-07-06 799
120476 What do you both like doing with your closest friend? 서*환 완료 2022-07-06 443
120475 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? 백*원 완료 2022-07-06 503
120474 What was the last thing you returned or exchanged? Why?/ How... 박*현 완료 2022-07-06 2
120473 What is your daily routine? 박*영 완료 2022-07-06 395
120472 Do you think people make bad decisions because of peer pressure?... 전*채 완료 2022-07-06 738
120471 Which is better, renting or buying? 김*규 완료 2022-07-06 4
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? 신*섭 완료 2022-07-06 1030
120469 homework 윤*원 완료 2022-07-05 512
120468 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... 김*지 완료 2022-07-05 431
120467 Who in your family or among your friends has the most... 김*지 완료 2022-07-05 184
120466 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... 이*연 완료 2022-07-05 432
120465 Homework 김*연 완료 2022-07-05 180
120464 How much time do you spend listening to music? 김*지 완료 2022-07-05 212
120463 7/5 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2022-07-05 226
120462 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? 김*지 완료 2022-07-05 214
120461 HOMEWORK 박*민 완료 2022-07-05 2
120460 What new hobbies would you like to try? 김*겸 완료 2022-07-05 242
120459 Homework 권*미 완료 2022-07-05 2
120458 If a woman wants an abortion, what rights does the father have? 문*현 완료 2022-07-05 661

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]