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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Which day of the year are you more likely to spend in your family

작성자: 박*태
2022-08-24 836

회원님의 영작문

Dear Queeny
It is all about bloody mony issue isn't it? ^^
When it comes to quick dash for my children birthday
I surely be ready for their wants at the very of the beginning
Sometimes, They want so more thing that isn"t uncondition of my billings, but more after often Iet us do something as it is all their self.
I spent my money as I feel great my pleasure
I eagerly try to get their newds to track down what needs they might have.
Also, I'm doing myself at more my best to become more friendly daddy at the time of their fittable age
OK then, see you in the evening time
Take care~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Justin, 
Spending quality time together is the best way we have to show each other that we care and that our families are important. Family time offers many benefits, including building confidence, creating a stronger emotional bond between family members, improving communication skills, better performance in school, and reduced behavioral issues, as well as providing an opportunity to make memories built on fun, laughter, and togetherness. "Family is the heart of the Home". ~ Teacher QUENNY..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Queeny
It is all about bloody mony issue isn't it? ^^
>> Dear Quenny
It is all about the bloody money issue, isn't it? ^^
When it comes to quick dash for my children birthday I surely be ready for their wants at the very of the beginning
>> When it comes to a quick dash for my children's birthday I will surely be ready for their wants at the very beginning. 
Sometimes, They want so more thing that isn"t uncondition of my billings, but more after often Iet us do something as it is all their self.
>> >> Sometimes, they want so many things that aren't unconditional of my billings, but more after they often let us do something as it is all for themselves.
I spent my money as I feel great my pleasure
>> I spent my money as I feel great pleasure. 
I eagerly try to get their newds to track down what needs they might have.
>>  I eagerly try to get their demands to track down what needs they might have.
Also, I'm doing myself at more my best to become more friendly daddy at the time of their fittable age
>> Also, I'm doing my best to become a more friendly daddy at the time of their fittable age. 
OK then, see you in the evening time
>> OK then, see you in the evening time.
Take care~
>>Take care^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Queeny
It is all about bloody mony issue isn't it? ^^
When it comes to quick dash for my children birthday
I surely be ready for their wants at the very of the beginning
Sometimes, They want so more thing that isn"t uncondition of my billings, but more after often Iet us do something as it is all their self.
I spent my money as I feel great my pleasure
I eagerly try to get their newds to track down what needs they might have.
Also, I'm doing myself at more my best to become more friendly daddy at the time of their fittable age
OK then, see you in the evening time
Take care~
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