¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

8/23 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-08-23 1079

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What essential thing/s do you need to bring along with you when you travel or go on a business trip?

I usually bring some clothes, underwear, toileteries and simple food like instant cup noodles in the baggage when I travel abroad.
But the most important things that I need to take are passport, money and mobile phone.
Passport is the ID card which provides information about me, and If I have a passport, I would ask some help to embassy of the Republic of Korea.
If I have enough money, I will buy some necessities and eat food.
In my opinion, mobile phone is also necessary.
I don't need a paper map anymore, becuase using mobile phone, I could find correct directions anywhere I go.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Stella!

Since you have travelled a lot in the past, preparing all of the necessary things in your baggage is a piece of cake- food, passport, cards, among others. As women, wwe have the knack in packing things.

Here on your answer, I can see longer and even more meaningful sentences. They were stated naturally as well as grammatically well-thought of. Your ideas flow well in a very good organization from the introduction, body, and ending. Some of my suggestions were underlined for your convenience. Thus, thank you for your great effort in drafting this answer. Well done!

See you again!

-T. Donna~ 
 
I usually bring some clothes, underwear, toileteries and simple food like instant cup noodles in the baggage when I travel abroad.
>> Correct!

But the most important things that I need to take are passport, money and mobile phone.
>> Correct!
Or: But the most important things that I need to take are passport, money, and mobile phone.

Passport is the ID card which provides information about me, and If I have a passport, I would ask some help to embassy of the Republic of Korea.
>> Passport is the ID card which provides information about me, and if I have a passport, I would ask some help from the Embassy of the Republic of Korea.

If I have enough money, I will buy some necessities and eat food.
>> Correct!

In my opinion, mobile phone is also necessary.
>> Correct!
Or: In my opinion, the mobile phone is also necessary.

I don't need a paper map anymore, becuase using mobile phone, I could find correct directions anywhere I go.
>> I don't need a paper map anymore, because using the mobile phone, I can find correct directions anywhere I go.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121954 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 584
121953 Do you think that a man and a woman can have a friendship... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 2
121952 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 941
121951 What do you need to think about before renting a place to live? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1135
121950 8/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1052
121949 How do you describe your neighborhood? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1619
121948 What I do when I have some annoying thing. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 764
121947 Where I will live when I am old. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 721
121946 My presents. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 665
121945 The reason why I study English. ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 3
121944 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 940
121943 What topics are taboos in your culture? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1
121942 GOAL À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 0
121941 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1
121940 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1282
121939 War Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 2
121938 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 608
121937 Please describe the area around your neighborhood ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1374
121936 How important is English for you in your job or future? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1
121935 Abortion Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04