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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-23 512

회원님의 영작문

Hi, Donna.
As usual, I have done my work late.
Today, I saw one patient who comes from Uzbec.
He could speak Korean, But I asked him if he could speak English.
Fortunately, He preferred to speak in English, thus, I could talk to him in English.
As you see, I love to talk to foreigner who can speak English.
Thanks to you, I am getting more confident.
Anyway, today's homework is too difficult for me.
As you know, I always try to succeed about my work.
Regarding a private hospital, I think that general goal is a higher income.
For a higher income, we need more clients, and for that, we need good staffs, good facilities, and good abilities to treat.
Among them, the most important factor is people.
Hence, I and my colleague doctor try to educate our staffs and find new staffs who are expected to work well.
To grow them, we should spend our time and money.
It's not easy, but, if we can make someone to do better, she can educate another.
That is my hope.
Have a nice dream.
See you soon.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

I hope that you can work efficiently today and go back home earlier than usual. You have been having a lot of patients including international ones and it is interesting to hear about an Uzbek speaking in English and Korean at the same time. I guess there are so many foreigners in Incheon. You owe all of your confidence in speaking English to your hard work and dedication. So, stay confident and amiable with your clients/ patients.

Success at work notably with members means solid team work, never ending learning, and a supportive environment. Most of all, quality standards in safe and excellent derma-care results are your top goals in your clinic. This comes first and a smooth flow of income follows. Finally, a warm, gentle, and highly professional customer service comes from your staff. I agree that they need constant education and empowerment.

This homework is very substantial and packed with information. Thank you for stating your ideas with so much clarity and organization using exact words to describe as well as expressions suited for the discussion. Outstanding! Please see my suggestions for further grammar improvements.

Have a powerful Wednesday!

-T. Donna~

Hi, Donna.
>> Correct!

As usual, I have done my work late.
>> Correct!

Today, I saw one patient who comes from Uzbec.
>> Today, I saw one patient who comes from Uzbekistan.

He could speak Korean, But I asked him if he could speak English.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, He preferred to speak in English, thus, I could talk to him in English.
>> Correct!

As you see, I love to talk to foreigner who can speak English.
>> As you can see, I love to talk to foreigners who can speak English.

Thanks to you, I am getting more confident.
>> Correct!

Anyway, today's homework is too difficult for me.
>> Correct!

As you know, I always try to succeed about my work.
>> As you know it, I always try to succeed (about/on) my work.

Regarding a private hospital, I think that general goal is a higher income.
>> Regarding being a private hospital, I think that the general goal is a higher income.

For a higher income, we need more clients, and for that, we need good staffs, good facilities, and good abilities to treat.
>> Correct!
Or: For a higher income, we need more clients, and for that, we need good staff, good facilities, and good abilities to treat patients.

Among them, the most important factor is people.
>> Correct!

Hence, I and my colleague doctor try to educate our staffs and find new staffs who are expected to work well.
>> Correct!
Or: Hence, I and my colleague doctor try to educate our staff and find new staff members who are expected to work well.

To grow them, we should spend our time and money.
>> For them to grow, we should spend time and money.

It's not easy, but, if we can make someone to do better, she can educate another.
>> It's not easy, but, if we can make someone do better, she can educate (another/others).

That is my hope.
>> Correct!

Have a nice dream.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
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