¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about the all-day schooling policy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-18 869

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem. Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. I think that it would be better if there is a supp

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. 
>> CORRECT!
Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
>> Most households have a difficulty to find a nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
OR >> Most households have a difficulty to find nannies due to the service fees and service quality. 
It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
>> It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before; it usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. 
>> CORRECT!
If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem.
>> If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problems.
Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. 
>> CORRECT!
Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. 
>>  Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most of their time at school. 
I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. 
>> CORRECT!
Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. 
>> Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from work. 
Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. 
>> CORRECT!
I think that it would be better if there is a supp
>> I think it would be better if there is a support coming from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121613 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1056
121612 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 1401
121611 Which is more comfortable: sleeping alone or sleeping with... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121610 Tell us something interesting about yourself ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 953
121609 Daily essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 5
121608 What is the significance of the holiday today? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 607
121607 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1134
121606 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1384
121605 My hardship ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1044
121604 What is the best thing about being married? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1
121603 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1378
121602 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 763
121601 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡°rent¡±? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1087
121600 What cartoons do young people watch today? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1344
121599 My son\'s room ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 2
121598 Today\'s adolescents Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 2
121597 What do you think is the best job? How about the worst job? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1034
121596 Tell me your favorite music genre and the reason you like it. ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1266
121595 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 0
121594 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1641

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04