¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-16 881

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, Donna.
It was so busy today, as you can expect.
There were many clients.
And among them, one Germany came to me for her infected first toe.
She had an ingrowing nail resulting in cellulitis.
Thus, I explained the diagnosis and treatment to her.
It was so glad to see a patient who speak English.
Even though I can't speak English perfectly, I have a confidence with English, and it was owing to you. Thanks.
Today, you asked me about useless gadgets currently.
It's easy to think about it.
I don't use the telephone, alarm, CD player, MP3 player and camera anymore.
That's because now we have the cell phone which have all functions of those.
A cell phone is getting developed more and more.
Do you know "Samsung pay"?
In korea, if you have a Samsung phone, you can pay with your phone.
Meanwhile, we sometimes miss the old things which we used.
When we moved to another place, we could find old gadgets, but we couldn't throw them away, cause Those were some parts of our lives.
Good night~

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day again, Dr. Kim!

It was one interesting busy day for you yesterday. I hope that the German lady with cellulitis can manage to recover from her sore toe soon, thanks to your help. I wonder what were the things you told her to assist her... Anyway, I am proud of your confidence and fluency in cases as such when you need to speak in English. 

Meanwhile, being nostalgic about some of the previous technology we still have today is normal as a thing is attached to some good old memories. In my case, before I throw a gadget or a thing away when I will no longer use it, I whisper, "Thank you for your service." because for once, it made my life more convenient and more efficient. I strongly agree with your idea of bringing them along with us or just usign them as display for memory. 

Finally, the gadgets we have today are our future. Our lives will never be the same without them. Thus, using them properly can enhance our lives or cause some other consequences. We always have to be wise.

Your composition showed depth, very good grammatical structure, and smooth and effective transition. Keep it up with your strong points! Study as well my suggestions that were undefined for your convenience. Excellent job!

Have a fantastic day!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

It was so busy today, as you can expect.
>> Correct!

There were many clients.
>> Correct!

And among them, one Germany came to me for her infected first toe.
>> And among them, one German came to me for her infected first toe.

She had an ingrowing nail resulting in cellulitis.
>> Correct!

Thus, I explained the diagnosis and treatment to her.
>> Correct!

It was so glad to see a patient who speak English.
>> It was so glad to see a patient who speaks English.

Even though I can't speak English perfectly, I have a confidence with English, and it was owing to you. Thanks.
>> Even though I can't speak English perfectly, I have confidence with English, and I owe it to you. Thanks.

Today, you asked me about useless gadgets currently.
>> Correct!

It's easy to think about it.
>> Correct!

I don't use the telephone, alarm, CD player, MP3 player and camera anymore.
>> Correct!
Or: I don't use the telephone, alarm, CD player, MP3 player, and camera anymore. (comma)

That's because now we have the cell phone which have all functions of those.
>> That's because now we have the cell phone which has all functions of those.

A cell phone is getting developed more and more.
>> Correct!

Do you know "Samsung pay"?
>> Correct!

In korea, if you have a Samsung phone, you can pay with your phone.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, we sometimes miss the old things which we used.
>> Correct!

When we moved to another place, we could find old gadgets, but we couldn't throw them away, cause Those were some parts of our lives.
>> When we move to another place, we could find old gadgets, but we couldn't throw them away, because those were some parts of our lives.
 
Good night~
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124435 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 1
124434 What can we do to avoid eating junk food? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 1
124433 How to make feel happy for visitors. ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 625
124432 Romio and Juliet + Greek story ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 857
124431 Do you like reading comic strips? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 0
124430 Influence of policians and scientists ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 886
124429 Do you prefer to message or talk on the phone? Why? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 853
124428 Is going on a study abroad worth it? What are the advantages and... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 1103
124427 12/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 748
124426 What are some chores you do outside your house? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 1067
124425 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 690
124424 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 728
124423 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 2
124422 Do you enjoy Christmas movies? What\'s your favorite... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 899
124421 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 1
124420 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 0
124419 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 0
124418 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 0
124417 If you could go back in time and give yourself some advice, what... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 2
124416 What\'s the silliest holiday you\'ve heard of? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 809

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04