¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Tuesday Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-08-16 626

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What are some reasons why privacy is important for you?
A:Privacy is my own information, so if others know that, then they can use it in bad way.
Like they can be myself in online world or they can spread it to everywhere.
Also, they can change my characteristic by using those.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Privacy is my own information, so if others know that, then they can use it in bad way.

>> Privacy is my own information, so if others know that, then they can use it in a bad way.
Like they can be myself in online world or they can spread it to everywhere.

>> Like they can pretend to be me online or they can spread it everywhere.
Also, they can change my characteristic by using those.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124188 What kind of pollution personally bothers you most? Why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1308
124187 gap ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1132
124186 Is salary a major priority you have when looking for a job? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 893
124185 International language ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 864
124184 Where is the most amazing place you have been? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1
124183 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 810
124182 When can stress be a good thing? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1331
124181 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 2
124180 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 0
124179 HOMEWORK: Complete the sentences below. Demonstrative adjectives... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 2
124178 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1061
124177 Homework(12/14) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 0
124176 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 959
124175 Cooking or baking? What¡¯s more fun? What¡¯s more difficult? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1050
124174 My little dog ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1707
124173 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 0
124172 The three adjectives best describe amusement park. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1055
124171 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 0
124170 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 743
124169 five ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04