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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework

작성자: 윤*원
2022-08-15 838

회원님의 영작문

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would have done anything to get it?
I never wanted something so baldly, so I don’t have any experience to do anything to get something. But if I want to buy something that I want, I buy it with my pocket money. My mom gives me 15 per week. So it’s not easy to buy something expensive but sometime my mom gives me extra money.

What are the things that you currently desire?
I need to buy a soccer shoe now. I have used these soccer shoes for more than two years, and they have holes in them. I have $150 now, but I need to save a little more money because soccer shoes are more expensive.

What do you do to get the things that you desire?
As I said before, I get pocket money from my mom. I am saving pocket money to buy soccer shoes. But sometimes I get extra pocket money when I do the dishes, laundry, cooking, or massage for my mom.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Se Won, 
Thank you for doing your best to answer the questions and give your ideas and opinions about the topic. You're doing good but I want you to improve more and become confident when speaking the English language. I know you have the courage and ability to do so.  You can improve your speaking by noticing the language we use in different situations and practicing useful phrases And you can improve your writing by understanding model texts and how they're structured. Keep improving your English skills. ~ Teacher QUENNY.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would have done anything to get it?
>> Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would have done anything to get it?(CORRECT) 
I never wanted something so baldly, so I don’t have any experience to do anything to get something. But if I want to buy something that I want, I buy it with my pocket money. My mom gives me 15 per week. So it’s not easy to buy something expensive but sometime my mom gives me extra money.
>> I never wanted something so badly, so I didn't have any experience and didn't put any effort to do anything to get something. But if I want to buy something that I really like so badly, I will buy it using my pocket money. My mom gives me 15 dollars per week and that's not enough for me, so it's not easy to buy something expensive. There are times that my mom gives me extra money so I have some money to buy something I want but I still need to economize my pocket money. 

What are the things that you currently desire?
>> What are the things that you currently desire? (CORRECT) 
I need to buy a soccer shoe now. I have used these soccer shoes for more than two years, and they have holes in them. I have $150 now, but I need to save a little more money because soccer shoes are more expensive.
>> I desire to buy new Soccer shoes nowadays. I have Soccer shoes and I've been using that for two years. The shoes have already holes in them so it's difficult for me to use them when I'm playing Soccer with my friends that's the reason why I desire to buy new Soccer shoes now. I only have $150 now and I still need more money to buy new Soccer shoes because they are expensive. 

What do you do to get the things that you desire?
>> What do you do to get the things that you desire? (CORRECT) 
As I said before, I get pocket money from my mom. I am saving pocket money to buy soccer shoes. But sometimes I get extra pocket money when I do the dishes, laundry, cooking, or massage for my mom.
>>  I need to save money from the pocket money that my mom is giving me to get things that I desire. There are times that I can get extra pocket money when I help my mom do some household chores like washing the dishes, doing the laundry, cooking, or a massage for my mom. And I save the extra money that my mom is giving me to buy more things that I desire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would have done anything to get it?
I never wanted something so baldly, so I don’t have any experience to do anything to get something. But if I want to buy something that I want, I buy it with my pocket money. My mom gives me 15 per week. So it’s not easy to buy something expensive but sometime my mom gives me extra money.

What are the things that you currently desire?
I need to buy a soccer shoe now. I have used these soccer shoes for more than two years, and they have holes in them. I have $150 now, but I need to save a little more money because soccer shoes are more expensive.

What do you do to get the things that you desire?
As I said before, I get pocket money from my mom. I am saving pocket money to buy soccer shoes. But sometimes I get extra pocket money when I do the dishes, laundry, cooking, or massage for my mom.
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