무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special responsibility to help others?

작성자: 김*경
2022-08-15 1157

회원님의 영작문

I don't think wealthy people have any responsibility of sharing their hard-earned wealth. Their big fortune may be the results of their hard working. Therefore, whether the rich dedicate the part of their wealth to the community or not is entirely up to them. not their obligation at all.

However, some people blame the rich for not sharing their wealth with the community. I think it goes too far. It may be one-sided view of the rich. We need to check our perception about the rich.

We do work hard to be rich, and being rich is something good for them to accomplish. Ironically, they blame the rich for the rich's lack of financial mercy although they work hard to be rich. The rich they blame can be rich themselves in the future. It sounds ridiculous to me.

Let's recap. I think just pursuing the wealth is not only wrong but also right. That is, it is neutral in value. Therefore, we approach this issue in a balanced way.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Steve,
Responsibility to help others has nothing to do with material wealth. It refers, rather, to a moral inclination to be helpful. A person does not have to be wealthy to help others. In fact, most of the things that happen to people that help them to survive are not done by heroes or by wealthy people. People simply doing their work well, is a great help. Being friendly and courteous is a great help. The little things in life, are often overlooked. A lot of people do help, and some do not help. And caring for the poor and needy people and helping them is a noble endeavor. The more you give to poor and needy people, the more you strengthen their dependency. If you give them the chance or opportunity, you'll see an effective and long-lasting improvement in their lives. "Volunteering your time, money, or energy to help others doesn't just make the world better but also makes you better. " ~ Teacher QUENNY..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think wealthy people have any responsibility of sharing their hard-earned wealth. Their big fortune may be the results of their hard working. Therefore, whether the rich dedicate the part of their wealth to the community or not is entirely up to them. not their obligation at all.
>> I don't think wealthy people have any responsibility for sharing their hard-earned wealth. Their big fortune may be the result of their hard-working. Therefore, whether the rich dedicate part of their wealth to the community or not is entirely up to them and it's not their obligation at all.
However, some people blame the rich for not sharing their wealth with the community. I think it goes too far. It may be one-sided view of the rich. We need to check our perception about the rich.
>> However, some people blame the rich for not sharing their wealth with the community. I think it goes too far. It may be a one-sided view of the rich. We need to check and understand our perception of the rich.
We do work hard to be rich, and being rich is something good for them to accomplish. Ironically, they blame the rich for the rich's lack of financial mercy although they work hard to be rich. The rich they blame can be rich themselves in the future. It sounds ridiculous to me.
>> We do work hard to be rich, and being rich is something good for them to accomplish. Ironically, they blame the rich for the rich's lack of financial mercy although they work hard to be rich. The rich they blame can be rich themselves in the future. It sounds ridiculous to me.(CORRECT) 
Let's recap. I think just pursuing the wealth is not only wrong but also right. That is, it is neutral in value. Therefore, we approach this issue in a balanced way.
>> Let's recap. I think just pursuing wealth is not only wrong but also right. That is, it is neutral in value. Therefore, we approach this issue in a balanced way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think wealthy people have any responsibility of sharing their hard-earned wealth. Their big fortune may be the results of their hard working. Therefore, whether the rich dedicate the part of their wealth to the community or not is entirely up to them. not their obligation at all.

However, some people blame the rich for not sharing their wealth with the community. I think it goes too far. It may be one-sided view of the rich. We need to check our perception about the rich.

We do work hard to be rich, and being rich is something good for them to accomplish. Ironically, they blame the rich for the rich's lack of financial mercy although they work hard to be rich. The rich they blame can be rich themselves in the future. It sounds ridiculous to me.

Let's recap. I think just pursuing the wealth is not only wrong but also right. That is, it is neutral in value. Therefore, we approach this issue in a balanced way.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
120230 What is the scariest story that you know? 신*섭 완료 2022-06-28 236
120229 What is a memorable food that you ate in a different country? 김*규 완료 2022-06-27 3
120228 The discovery of fire. 김*윤 완료 2022-06-27 240
120227 IELTS part2 함*리 완료 2022-06-27 2
120226 6/27 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2022-06-27 251
120225 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small... 김*빈 완료 2022-06-27 608
120224 Homework 권*미 완료 2022-06-27 0
120223 What was your dream job when you were young? 한*미 완료 2022-06-27 411
120222 What’s the best way to stop being bored? Answer in 5 sentences... 김*빈 완료 2022-06-27 457
120221 Homework 김*준 완료 2022-06-27 287
120220 Some people do not like to talk about politics. How about you,... 이*연 완료 2022-06-27 955
120219 homework 김*연 완료 2022-06-27 618
120218 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-06-27 423
120217 About friends 김*규 완료 2022-06-27 3
120216 What do you think is the best age to be? Explain your opinion. 신*후 완료 2022-06-27 4
120215 How do you think the discovery of fire changed the life of... 태*서 완료 2022-06-27 528
120214 Homework 박*민 완료 2022-06-27 1
120213 The reason why there are generally few women in top positions. 김*윤 완료 2022-06-27 468
120212 homework 이*주 완료 2022-06-27 586
120211 Homework {06/27} 차*빈 완료 2022-06-27 128

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]