¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which countries do you think have the harshest punishments? Do people need to be punished?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-12 643

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I know, countries in the middle east have a strong purnishment in the world. They are known as conservative countries, especially they have a different standard for women. Although it is because of their religious belief, I can't understand why they are stricter to women than men. Especially, they sentence a death penalty to rape and sexcual harrassment. In contrast, Korea is one of the country which is lenient to criminals. Most people frequently complain about judgement from the court. We believe that final ruling depends on the public and economic status. Politicians must follow the national law and shoul be ethical because they are the representative of people in their country. Western countries's purnishment are much heavier than it in my country. I think we should introduce similar verdict system like advanced countries. The life sentence is contravertial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be the way to prevent from the potential crime.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

As I know, countries in the middle east have a strong purnishment in the world. 
>> CORRECT!
They are known as conservative countries, especially they have a different standard for women.
>> They are known as a conservative country, especially they have a different standard for women.
Although it is because of their religious belief, I can't understand why they are stricter to women than men. 
>> CORRECT!
Especially, they sentence a death penalty to rape and sexcual harrassment. 
>> Especially, they sentence a death penalty to people who commit rape and sexual harrassment. 
In contrast, Korea is one of the country which is lenient to criminals. 
>> In contrast, Korea is one of the countries which is lenient to criminals. 
Most people frequently complain about judgement from the court. 
>> CORRECT!
We believe that final ruling depends on the public and economic status. 
>> CORRECT!
Politicians must follow the national law and shoul be ethical because they are the representative of people in their country. 
>>  Politicians must follow the national law and should be ethical because they are the representatives of people in their country. 
Western countries's purnishment are much heavier than it in my country. 
>> Western countries' purnishment are much heavier than it is in my country. 
I think we should introduce similar verdict system like advanced countries. 
>> CORRECT!
The life sentence is contravertial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be the way to prevent from the potential crime.
>> The life sentence is controversial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be a way to prevent people from potential crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124552 1/2 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 5
124551 What is an editorial page? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 941
124550 30.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1
124549 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 970
124548 Are you confident about how you look like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 2
124547 some questions. ¾È*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 940
124546 Do you agree that smoking in public places should be banned? Why... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 795
124545 Why do people get tattoos? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 897
124544 Do you think that your life is easier/harder than your parents? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 4
124543 Did you believe in Santa Claus when you were child? How about... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 2
124542 Can you tell me about something you regret? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 3
124541 The plan ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 1
124540 New year¡¯s resolution ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 0
124539 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-01 709
124538 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 1528
124537 teacher ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 1
124536 Can you talk about one thing that scares you? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 4
124535 Planning a get-together ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-31 725
124534 In my culture, ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 824
124533 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 730

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04