¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which countries do you think have the harshest punishments? Do people need to be punished?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-12 719

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I know, countries in the middle east have a strong purnishment in the world. They are known as conservative countries, especially they have a different standard for women. Although it is because of their religious belief, I can't understand why they are stricter to women than men. Especially, they sentence a death penalty to rape and sexcual harrassment. In contrast, Korea is one of the country which is lenient to criminals. Most people frequently complain about judgement from the court. We believe that final ruling depends on the public and economic status. Politicians must follow the national law and shoul be ethical because they are the representative of people in their country. Western countries's purnishment are much heavier than it in my country. I think we should introduce similar verdict system like advanced countries. The life sentence is contravertial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be the way to prevent from the potential crime.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

As I know, countries in the middle east have a strong purnishment in the world. 
>> CORRECT!
They are known as conservative countries, especially they have a different standard for women.
>> They are known as a conservative country, especially they have a different standard for women.
Although it is because of their religious belief, I can't understand why they are stricter to women than men. 
>> CORRECT!
Especially, they sentence a death penalty to rape and sexcual harrassment. 
>> Especially, they sentence a death penalty to people who commit rape and sexual harrassment. 
In contrast, Korea is one of the country which is lenient to criminals. 
>> In contrast, Korea is one of the countries which is lenient to criminals. 
Most people frequently complain about judgement from the court. 
>> CORRECT!
We believe that final ruling depends on the public and economic status. 
>> CORRECT!
Politicians must follow the national law and shoul be ethical because they are the representative of people in their country. 
>>  Politicians must follow the national law and should be ethical because they are the representatives of people in their country. 
Western countries's purnishment are much heavier than it in my country. 
>> Western countries' purnishment are much heavier than it is in my country. 
I think we should introduce similar verdict system like advanced countries. 
>> CORRECT!
The life sentence is contravertial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be the way to prevent from the potential crime.
>> The life sentence is controversial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be a way to prevent people from potential crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125778 For my career ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 3
125777 self-introduction ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 4
125776 What is the most special gift you have ever given? /What would... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125775 What do you think are the best Valentine\'s Day gifts? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125774 i think everyone should know \"time doesn\'t wait for you. if... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 754
125773 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 2
125772 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 2
125771 I went to Busan BEXCO. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 1
125770 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-02-19 647
125769 Do you think it is possible for a cold hearted person to change? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1432
125768 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125767 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125766 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125765 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125764 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 1
125763 Would you rather have many skills or just a few excellent skills? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-18 2
125762 2023-2/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 749
125761 Should we clone extinct plants and animals? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 831
125760 Do you believe that social media do more harm than good? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1013
125759 If I don¡¯t get enough sleep,¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 732

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04