¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which countries do you think have the harshest punishments? Do people need to be punished?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-12 559

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I know, countries in the middle east have a strong purnishment in the world. They are known as conservative countries, especially they have a different standard for women. Although it is because of their religious belief, I can't understand why they are stricter to women than men. Especially, they sentence a death penalty to rape and sexcual harrassment. In contrast, Korea is one of the country which is lenient to criminals. Most people frequently complain about judgement from the court. We believe that final ruling depends on the public and economic status. Politicians must follow the national law and shoul be ethical because they are the representative of people in their country. Western countries's purnishment are much heavier than it in my country. I think we should introduce similar verdict system like advanced countries. The life sentence is contravertial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be the way to prevent from the potential crime.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

As I know, countries in the middle east have a strong purnishment in the world. 
>> CORRECT!
They are known as conservative countries, especially they have a different standard for women.
>> They are known as a conservative country, especially they have a different standard for women.
Although it is because of their religious belief, I can't understand why they are stricter to women than men. 
>> CORRECT!
Especially, they sentence a death penalty to rape and sexcual harrassment. 
>> Especially, they sentence a death penalty to people who commit rape and sexual harrassment. 
In contrast, Korea is one of the country which is lenient to criminals. 
>> In contrast, Korea is one of the countries which is lenient to criminals. 
Most people frequently complain about judgement from the court. 
>> CORRECT!
We believe that final ruling depends on the public and economic status. 
>> CORRECT!
Politicians must follow the national law and shoul be ethical because they are the representative of people in their country. 
>>  Politicians must follow the national law and should be ethical because they are the representatives of people in their country. 
Western countries's purnishment are much heavier than it in my country. 
>> Western countries' purnishment are much heavier than it is in my country. 
I think we should introduce similar verdict system like advanced countries. 
>> CORRECT!
The life sentence is contravertial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be the way to prevent from the potential crime.
>> The life sentence is controversial but it sometimes need to protect general people and it can be a way to prevent people from potential crimes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120170 Who is always there to help you when you need it badly? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 279
120169 Writing Task(Jun 64th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 651
120168 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 190
120167 Homework and question ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 262
120166 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 238
120165 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 332
120164 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 3
120163 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 533
120162 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 0
120161 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 0
120160 What is best about being a teenager? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 200
120159 What is special about your country\'s cuisine? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 254
120158 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 329
120157 What kind of people do you like to meet? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 2
120156 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 1440
120155 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 2
120154 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 359
120153 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 161
120152 my neighborhood ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 301
120151 Have you had a bad experience while eating at a restaurant? How... ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-24 320

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04