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서비스 입니다.

Are you in favor/against the government’s plan to lower the school entry age?

작성자: 황*하
2022-08-11 529

회원님의 영작문

There is a different age system in Korea that we get a year old on new years day, so all people are same age if they are born in same year. There aren't pre schools in my country too. It is common to enter a elementry school when students become eight years old but there is expection for children who were born in Jan or Feb. They can choose if they go to school in advance or not, because there are certain discrepancy in abilities. To sum up our education system, I object to introduce new system that gives chance to enoll the school before 8 years old. Teachers will encounter a lot of problems such as toilet training, preparing standard curriculum and disciplining students. Child care also is a serious problem. Most parents have difficulty to hire a nany due to high service fees. If our government lower the school age, it increases our social expenses. I wonder how many citizens are pors about the new measure. According to the announcement from the government,it solves the aging problem

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

There is a different age system in Korea that we get a year old on new years day, so all people are same age if they are born in same year. 
>> There is a different age system in Korea that we get a year older on New Year's day, so all people are of the same age if they are born in the same year. 
There aren't pre schools in my country too. 
>> There aren't any pre-schools in my country, too. 
It is common to enter a elementry school when students become eight years old but there is expection for children who were born in Jan or Feb. 
>> It is common to enter elementry school when students turn eight years old, but there is an expection for children who were born in January or February. 
They can choose if they go to school in advance or not, because there are certain discrepancy in abilities. 
>> CORRECT!
To sum up our education system, I object to introduce new system that gives chance to enoll the school before 8 years old. 
>> To sum up our education system, I object to introduce new system that gives chance to enroll the school before 8 years old. 
Teachers will encounter a lot of problems such as toilet training, preparing standard curriculum and disciplining students. 
>> CORRECT!
Child care also is a serious problem. 
>> CORRECT!
Most parents have difficulty to hire a nany due to high service fees. 
>> Most parents have difficulty to hire a nanny due to high service fees. 
OR >> Most parents have a hard time hiring a babysitter due to high service fees.
If our government lower the school age, it increases our social expenses. 
>> CORRECT!
I wonder how many citizens are pors about the new measure. 
>> I wonder how many citizens agree about the new measure. 
According to the announcement from the government, it solves the aging problem.
>> CORRECT!

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