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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-10 594

회원님의 영작문

Hi there, Donna.
I came home just before.
It's raining on and off, and there are no more flood.
I heard the news that many people died because of flood.
Thus, I feel so sad.
And, I have bad news about my business.
The project of new clinic in Seoul was canceled, for arguing about running a clinic.
Hence, I feel bad about it, but I also feel free from the pressure of a new business.
Consequently, it's ironic.
I am not sure if I really wanted it.
Meanwhile, Today's homework is so interesting to me.
When I was young, I have many kinds of dream.
For example, I wanted to be an announcer, actor, soldier, teacher, minister, and so on.
Unfortunately, I was good at studying, and my mother wanted me to have a stable job.
So, I decided to go medical university.
Am I regret my choice?
Absolutely not.
But, if possible, I want to be a famous musical star.
That's because I love music and performance.
Someday, I'll learn a voice technique and an action for that.
I should hurry to sleep.
Take care.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Kim!

I wish you a good weather in Incheon today in spite of the rainfall forecast. We pray for the departed souls  of those people who lost their lives in the flashflood in your country and all those who are missing and need help this time...

About your project, as I said, rejection is direction. So, soon enough, what is meant for you and your clinic will unfold right before your eyes, just wait and see. For now, enjoy your early sleep and your time with your family. 

And now regarding your choice and career- your ideal job was a great decision you have made. It is where you are now and it brings bread and butter to your family. There are so many people who want to be a doctor yet only a few are lucky to be one. My unsolicited advice is, singing and learning a new technique is never too late. If you can dream and visualize it, you can achieve it!

I am grateful for your distinct writing style, organization, and rich content. Thank you for stating your sentences clearly with very minimal grammar mistakes. Read through and note my suggestions well.

Have a very productive day! Stay safe.

-T. Donna~

Hi there, Donna.
>> Correct!

I came home just before.
>> I just came back home.

It's raining on and off, and there are no more flood.
>> It's raining on and off, and there (is no more flood/ are no more floods).

I heard the news that many people died because of flood.
>> I heard the news that many people died because of the flood.

Thus, I feel so sad.
>> Correct!

And, I have bad news about my business.
>> Correct!

The project of new clinic in Seoul was canceled, for arguing about running a clinic.
>> The project of the new clinic in Seoul was canceled because of an argument about who will run the clinic.

Hence, I feel bad about it, but I also feel free from the pressure of a new business.
>> Correct! Very good sentence.

Consequently, it's ironic.
>> Correct!

I am not sure if I really wanted it.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, Today's homework is so interesting to me.
>> Correct!
Or: ...today's homework is so interesting to me.

When I was young, I have many kinds of dream.
>> When I was young, I had many kinds of dreams.

For example, I wanted to be an announcer, actor, soldier, teacher, minister, and so on.
>> Correct!

Unfortunately, I was good at studying, and my mother wanted me to have a stable job.
>> Correct!

So, I decided to go medical university.
>> So, I decided to go to a medical university.

Am I regret my choice?
Absolutely not.
>> Did I regret my choice? Absolutely not.

But, if possible, I want to be a famous musical star.
>> Correct!

That's because I love music and performance.
>> Correct!
Or: That's because I love music and performing.

Someday, I'll learn a voice technique and an action for that.
>> Correct!

I should hurry to sleep.
>> Correct!

Take care.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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