¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-10 710

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways. such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food
and so on.
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
I wish we hand over the clean and firtile earth to our children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks again for writing your essay! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
>>> I agree that to protect the environment, people must save energy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food and so on.
>>> CORRECT
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
>>> But nowadays people waste energy without any considerations because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
>>> CORRECT
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
>>> This environment does not belong to us but it's a pilgrimage we stay in while we are living.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
>>> CORRECT
I wish we could hand over a clean and fertile earth to our children.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124221 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 2
124220 Travel is Two edged of sword! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1100
124219 Homework 12/16 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 4
124218 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1
124217 Complete the following sentences using an appropriate adjective... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1077
124216 What do you dislike about playgrounds? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124215 Can you talk about one thing that scares you? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 905
124214 Name some natural disasters you know about. Which one is the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1146
124213 eating only between 1pm and 8pm, and then not eating for the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 808
124212 What is the Spirit of Christmas? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 898
124211 Are you good at solving your own problems? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 825
124210 How to make chocolate? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 964
124209 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1065
124208 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2
124207 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1142
124206 Where do you most like to drink coffee? Do you have a favorite... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 917
124205 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each adjective. 1. Her 2. Our 3.... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2
124204 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1473
124203 What is a white lie? Have you ever experienced telling a white... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1158
124202 production ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04