¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-10 746

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways. such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food
and so on.
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
I wish we hand over the clean and firtile earth to our children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks again for writing your essay! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
>>> I agree that to protect the environment, people must save energy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food and so on.
>>> CORRECT
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
>>> But nowadays people waste energy without any considerations because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
>>> CORRECT
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
>>> This environment does not belong to us but it's a pilgrimage we stay in while we are living.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
>>> CORRECT
I wish we could hand over a clean and fertile earth to our children.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125064 What is your favorite movie line? ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 947
125063 What makes you feel happy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 817
125062 Do you agree that all children should take part in taking care... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 806
125061 Why do you think people are afraid of getting old? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 1769
125060 Do you make first impressions based on what people wear? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 613
125059 How do you deal with stress these days? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 874
125058 How do people meet people to date these days? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 589
125057 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 654
125056 Stupid Korean ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 794
125055 19.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 1
125054 Why we should get married ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 1
125053 Have you been to the USA? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 0
125052 Why is the Seollal holiday very important to Koreans? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 2
125051 Hoarding and collecting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125050 My favorite a activity is skate. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1250
125049 Is renting a car convenient for everyone when they go to another... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125048 Is it always needed to make replacements for something you have... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125047 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 770
125046 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 2
125045 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04