¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-10 587

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways. such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food
and so on.
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
I wish we hand over the clean and firtile earth to our children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks again for writing your essay! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
>>> I agree that to protect the environment, people must save energy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food and so on.
>>> CORRECT
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
>>> But nowadays people waste energy without any considerations because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
>>> CORRECT
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
>>> This environment does not belong to us but it's a pilgrimage we stay in while we are living.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
>>> CORRECT
I wish we could hand over a clean and fertile earth to our children.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120617 Home ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 140
120616 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 0
120615 go out with ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 2
120614 Hi Fatifh ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 740
120613 About sleep patterns Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1
120612 6. homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 2577
120611 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 2423
120610 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 395
120609 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 0
120608 Why is gambling addictive? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 0
120607 [Homework] Should housework only be assigned to one person? Why... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1
120606 the disadvantages of being phsically attractive ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 2
120605 What do you think is the best season to visit your country? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 564
120604 What is one thing you have never done but would like to do? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 515
120603 Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day... ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 397
120602 Can you think of some disadvantages of being monolingual? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 2
120601 Jul 6th,2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 473
120600 Do you enjoy visiting famous restaurants that are viral/popular... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 3
120599 If you see a person that looks lost or needs help on the street,... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 2
120598 Describe the closest neighbor you could think of. Mention how... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 382

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04