¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you choose to become?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-09 797

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. He is known as the world's second richest man. By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. 

>> CORRECT!


He is known as the world's second richest man. 

>> CORRECT!

By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. 

>> CORRECT!

For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. 

>> CORRECT!

While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". 

>> While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like, "It's a great honor to meet you". 

The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. 

>> CORRECT!

I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

>> I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from the genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. 

>> Also, Bill Gates will have no lack in speaking English, which is my weakness. 

Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

>> Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be a very nice experience.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124506 29.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124505 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4
124504 How much do you value your privacy? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 9
124503 The impulse buying ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 833
124502 If your friend was doing something dangerous or illegal, what... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2
124501 What is a memorable social gathering that you had in the past? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 0
124500 Why do some people experience more difficulty than others when... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 9
124499 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 828
124498 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 768
124497 Have you ever volunteered to do something and then regretted... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 625
124496 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2
124495 What do you hope to achieve in your English studies? Are your... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1408
124494 In the following sentences change the verbs to the past tense. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 842
124493 What does it mean to say, \'I feel under the weather\'? When did... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 745
124492 How important are after-school activities to kids these days? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 916
124491 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 665
124490 I cook sometimes. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 695
124489 12/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 679
124488 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 799
124487 What are the benefits of graduating from college? Does it also... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 750

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04